o bring new meaning to the "slobbing of America" because it's hot. West Texas is in trouble big time right now due to heat and wind and a major drought unlike i have ever seen in my 60+ years in "God's Country". We have had zero rain as in ziltch, nada as opposed to the normal low end of 8 inches of rainfall we normally get in the spring. The temps have been 102 to Sat is supposed to hit 108 as opposed to our normal high 80's low 90's this time of year and to cap it off the wind has blown at a sustained 40 to 50 miles an hour for oh, since April. Wildfires are a daily happening. Ranchers are shipping cattle to the sale that should be on grass until Nov. There is no grass and a fire can wipe out a thousand head in an hour. That my friends is the backdrop for this day of lunacy in the world of recruiting.
It's so damn hot outside (my journalism prof always said never use "very" unless you would use "Damn" and mean it). Well prof. let me put it this way, it's not very hot and really it's not damn hot, it's so mudder truckin hot that you want the dog to pee on a weed just so something will turn from brown to yellow, forget green. Anyway, it's one of those dog pp hot days that you know will wilt your candidate on the way to an interview into a smelly pile but you forge one telling them to wear a suit.
No discussion , wear the damn suit. So what if you have to stay downwind of the air conditioning so the interviewer doesn't get a whiff. The resume in your inside jacket pocket is so wet that when you take it out if falls apart. Wear the suit! So what if their air conditioning is fighting an uphill battle and is coming in four lenghs behind the slowest horse in the last race. They tell you to take your jacket off cause it's hot in the office, you do and you look like Al Gore at the last debate where he was the poster child for global warming. Wear the damn suit.
Ok fine, you were on the way, your car overheated, you popped the hood and ..ok i get it. I will call and let them know that you got caught in the traffic jam due to the grassfire that is burning close to their office. Forget the damn sweaty suit with the antifreeze on it that now smells like smoke. Get home if you can, put on some slacks and a white shirt with long sleeves and get someone to get you there in the next hour. They know half the Texas panhandle is on fire, most of them are calling their neighbors to see if it's close to the old homestead or their daycare so we have some latitude here due to heat and wildfires and blowing dirt.
Yes, goddamnit, long sleeves. I would prefer that Ms. Goodcookie the receptionist did not see the tat of the blood dripping knife with "mom" on it that you so proudly got the last time you got blasted with your Marine buddy. Yes i know, the CFO has a tribal tat on his back the size of a frisbie but see he has a job and you don't so let's save the blood dripping knife until you have an employee number. No don't call me if you have any more problems, just get your unemployed butt to the interview or i will find somebody who has a suit and knows better than to pop the hood of an overheated vehicle on a day when the temp is 105 wearing a suit coat.
Please let me know your visa status. I am sure you noticed that the posting said, "This client will not sponsor, candidates must be a citizen or have a green card." Oh, you did see that but you know that they will sponsor you after you work for them for 29 months since you are OPT. No tiger, that's not the way it works. If a company does not sponsor and they say that candidates must be a citizen or have a green card they are not going to hire you for 29 months then change that policy. See that's why we put that information on the post. It didn't say sponsorship available after 29 months or 29 years or 29 minutes. Uh no they will not hire you for 29 months. They would have to fire you at the end of 29 months. they are sort of hoping for a longer period of employment. Yes i know that on average people are staying someplace about two years but they are sort of hoping here to be on the longer side of that average if at all possible. If you were going to die in 29 months they wouldn't hire you either so it won't work. Yes i am running another ad for another company on the other side of the country. It says the same thing so it means the same thing.
No it doesn't matter that you have a local address for five different cities. You don't live in any of those cities now. There will be a series of three interviews so you would have to pay for three different plane tickets and pay your own relocation. No sorry if it says candidates must be currently living in the area or in the process of moving to the area they won't pay your interview expense for the second and third interviews and relocation if you pay for the first interview. Having a problem with this are you? Yes i can see how a company might think you were full of malarkey if you have applied with them for five different locations and given a local address for each location. Trust me if your resume shows that your last three jobs have been in Ohio and you are still employed in Ohio, you applied at five of their locations in different states using a local address for each app, even the most dense of the internal crew might notice that you are either independently wealthy enough to own five homes and don't need a job or that you are still in Ohio and using bogus addresses. I know you have a big family so moving would not be a problem. Listen up Cretin, they want a local candidate. No that is not discriminatory.
And so that's how my day has gone today. It's 4:00 PM I am going to go find artificial plants to put in the pots on either side of the office door. The evergreens that will grow in the Gobi desert have given up the ghost. I have been watering dead plants for three weeks. Gunga Din couldn't haul enough water to keep a weed alive in the Texas panhandle right now.
How's the weather in your part of the world? Ya think it might rain? It's gonna be 106 here.
The only bright spot is that the flys are dying of thrist. HA!…