think about what my 10 year HS reunion would be like and have delusions of showing up in a Beamer and 10 lbs skinnier. Then I consider going for the opposite and showing up pregnant in an old pick-up truck with a kid on my hip and a lit cigarette just to show them all how much I don't care. But then again I would have to get prego to make that happen so FORGET IT.
Tom: I am learning the power of groups. Joining them and then meeting people that way. It's so much easier to connect when people realize you already have something in common. Also, I never went to any proms. None of the dozens they have in 4 years of high school. I hung out at the mall with the mall rats and smoked cigarettes and scoffed at the kids going to prom (but secretly I wanted someone to ask me to go.) So I guess I suggest to be open to new contacts because...smoke cigarettes and make fun of prom kids together??? I don't know. I kind of lost my train of thought in that one.…
an all-too familiar trepidation, I approached the reception table and gave the girls from Reunion.com my name. They quickly found my badge and gave me a keepsake memory book, as well. I dutifully pinned on my badge, looked around and wondered, "What had I done, why had I wanted to be here?" I plopped down in the nearest chair and pulled out my phone, maybe checking in on Facebook would make me feel better...
In an instant, I was thirteen years old again and walking home from junior high. I could even hear Steve Ruiz and Doug Peterson yell out to me as I walked on one side of the street and they walked on the other, "Hey Rayanne, did anyone tell you that you were a surfer's dream?" I tried to ignore them, honestly, I tried. I had heard that one for over a year now... Apparently, I was a Pirate's dream, too - a "sunken chest." I was twelve, I was thirteen, and even so, my self esteem had been crushed with one too many careless comments. And I kept it all in. But I cried when I was alone.
For some reason, going to this particular reunion brought those feelings all back to me.
My mom's career was as an Activities Director in Nursing Homes. She often told me that as people age, there comes a point when they long for their youth, they think about siblings and close friends, parents and grandparents and they start to remember things they had forgotten and long to share stories and memories from their youth. There comes an age when your mortality is real, when one's life is becoming perceptibly shorter.
Back at my reunion, my friend, Melanie plopped down next to me and said, "Put that phone away, you are here now..." I joyfully hugged her and gladly forgot about being thirteen and the awkward years that followed. It is easy to let the past get in the way of the present, if you let it. There were a couple more times during the evening when I felt that ugly purple puberty monster rear its hateful head, but I was able to push it back to the cave to where it had been banished thirty years ago.
Getting past the past is one of the most difficult tasks we could ever hope to accomplish. Some people never do and if this last weekend is any indication, I am guessing it will be a lifelong fight for me, myself, and I. But every step forward takes me further away from dreadful walks home from school, PE locker rooms, and heartbreaking crushes. Somehow, those few years stay with us more than others.
I will look back at these battles this week and see if I can learn anything from my thirteen to seventeen year-old self and close a few yearbooks for good.
"Have a great summer, see you next fall..."
allenges seem like distant memories?? Like you, I was brought back to school days hesitating to start up conversations or "sit with" the cool kids. Truthfully, even though I've been in people centered roles my entire career, I have had to play the "act as if" game in order to do the things necessary to be successful. I don't like to mingle and events where I know I'll have to meet new people still evoke a natural reluctance. It's nice to know I'm not alone...it seems like I should have been able to overcome this after so many years, but I guess we are who we are. [and as a side note...my HS class is coming up on a big reunion year, and everyone is starting to connect on Facebook...still don't know how to talk to some of these people...it's like I'm 16 again...] Onward I go...…
dial. I guess I think that if I stare long enough that the combination will come to me and I will be able to get the locker open and proceed to class. This dream has never quite been resolved, because after thirty+ years, I am still unable to remember those darn numbers. I have heard that recurring dreams from junior high or high school mean that you have been placed in a new and/or stressful situation. Makes sense...
Knowing this, I have taken the opportunity on several occasions to evaluate what it is that I might be stressed about and then see if there is something I could do to eliminate that stress or at least feel better about it. I think it helps just knowing that my body and psyche have told me that I am experiencing some stress. I have lived through some very tense situations, both personally and in my work. How you handle pressure will determine if you have actually handled the pressure.
It would be easy to smile and grin through a time of anxiety but that doesn't solve the issue or reduce the amount of high school dreams that would keep occurring. If I am experiencing a bit of strain, it is best for me to face it head on. To ask the uncomfortable questions, to request the uncomfortable meeting and to just delete the problem by putting it on the table, staring it down and coming up with a resolution or course of action.
My high school dreams are at an all-time low. That doesn't mean I am no longer stressed, but what it does mean is that I am better at evaluating my circumstances and deciphering what I need to do to de-stress or reduce my anxiety. Here's the thing, if the worst thing that comes from my stress is that I cannot recall my locker combo to save my life..., well, I can live with that.
A whole new source of stress showed up in my mailbox last week. I received the invitation to my 30-year high school reunion that will take place next summer. La Serna Lancers, class of 1981 formally invites you to remember how old you are and what you used to look like. I am glad I won't be stowing any books in a locker. Oh, did I fail to mention my other dream? Forgetting to wear underwear and though there is no way anyone could possibly tell, for I am fully dressed, everyone somehow knows and they whisper & stare. You can bet I will be checking twice to make sure I have the right underthings on and in the right places. How easy it is to re-experience that feeling of being sixteen all over again. I guess I could just stifle my gag and just say, "Look out, Britney..." Oh dear, where is study hall when you need it?
action with for the past two years who has suffered at the hands of one of these lunatics unlike i have ever seen in my 30 years as a recruiter.
At age 19 she started as a sales and customer service rep for a household word telecommunications company. She was the leading sales rep within a short time earning over 100K a year for several years. She was offered a promotion several times to a manager level position and turned it down as it would mean that she would take a significant cut in pay. Finally realizing that if she did not accept the promotion she would forever be at the current level she made the decision to try and advance her career and make the move. At the time she accepted the promotion the Sr. Manager who had promoted her accepted another position with the company and a new Sr. Manager who had been a first level manager for 20 years was promoted into his position. The new Sr. Manager let it be known that she did not think this young woman should have been promoted. (You see the storm clouds on the horizon). My candidate's promotion was finally approved.
Within 7 months early 2008, the new Sr. Manager called her in and told her that she was helping male employees more than she was helping female employees and had been talking to them about non business related matters. She was written up for a violation of the code of business conduct. The situation was that she had been assigned to a new training class of sales reps. Several of the new trainees were guys that she had gone to high school with who were planning their first high school reunion and as they knew her they were more comfortable going to her for help than some of the other trainees. Ok, she acknowledged that yes she probably had talked with them about non business matters , the reunion, and yes she probably had helped them more than other trainees as they felt comfortable coming to her because she knew them before they started. Reasonable concern and she would correct it, which she did.
What followed in the next two years was a series of the most bizarre manager - direct report situations on the planet.
She was called in and told that it had been reported that she had come into the office trying to buy marijuana from some of the reps while she was on vacation. The week she was supposed to have done this insanity she had been out of the city at a company training seminar for two days of the week, had taken vacation time and stayed in the other city for the remaining three days. The office has a security situation requiring a key card. She suggested to her boss that she check the security records to determine if her key card had been used and offered to provide hotel receipts to prove she not even in the city and take a drug test to prove that she had not and did not smoke dope. Her boss told her that would not be necessary, she believed her.
Her boss then made a career for the next two weeks of asking almost all of the 170 employees in the center if they had ever seen her outside of work smoke marijuana. When asked why she was talking to everyone in the office creating the question as to my candidate smoking dope her boss informed her that it was her job to investigate every complaint no matter how absurd. When asked why the boss had indicated that a drug test was not necessary when that would have proved that the girl had not used any drug and the report had been that she came into the office to try and buy drugs which was easily negated by checking the key card access. The boss responded that even though that complaint could be proven wrong it was her job to determine if the girl did smoke dope as maybe a drug test could be manipulated.
As no one had ever seen this young woman smoke dope that one seemed to go by the boards and nothing more was said to my candidate and it had been proven a false report. Or so my candidate thought.
Stay tuned for part II this is long an bizarre story that will convince anyone that there are insane, vindictive, crazy people in management positions who should be exterminated.
hanks to vanity) against a wall when other venues may be more geezer friendly.
Honestly, i like the younger generations but if i thought i had to work in an office all day with all that testosterone and PMS emotion i would cut my antique wrists. I am very patient with young recruiters but i sure get bored fast listening to their crys of anguish and astonisment as they learn the ropes. then have to freaking talk about it for hours like it's something new. See my crabby age is showing.
You are correct about fit. The other thing is that some people are older than dirt at 45 and some of us refuse to get old. I took one look at the "old people" at my 50th high school reunion, turned around and left before i heard anything else about their latest surgery or health problem. I mean what do you say when the little blonde twirler from high school (who now looks like RoseAnn Barr on a bad day) looks at you and says, "My God, you have not aged, what have you had done?"
Things float around while one is grasping for an age appropriate answer like; " Nothing you fat old hide, have you had a rough life or were you in a bad wreck." "Haven't had anything done, just faster horses, older wine and younger men, what happened to you?"
I was not suggesting that the resume of a "moss back" be detailed back to dawn of time. In fact i do the same thing you do with the resume, ask them to just list dates, company and position on those positions that are floating around in the mist of time. I like a resume that has the most detail on the most recent positions unless they are those wonderul things that say Consulting. If someone has been unemployed but doing legitmate consulting then put it on there and just say who for and what they did briefly then give me the big detail and the most column inches of the last full time position or two on page one. Then start to shorten on page two and i don't have a problem with 3 pages on someone who has worked since the mid 70's with the very early jobs being a one liner.
I also agree with your take on the transition from very large to much smaller compaines for a senior employee. the biggest problem i see is the Senior executive who has retired from one career and wants to work contract or part time but wants the same hour equivalent rate factored on his last full time executive position. Not happenin in most cases.
@Tino All experience is relevant but i truly believe with a senior candidate a lot of experience can be highlighted in a summary on page one. Your background would make one hell of a strong summary that might even serve to have an employer stop right there and just scan the rest of the resume to get a feel for who and when.…