Rude Linkedin Introductions, you just sent one!

Illin' Linkedin Introductions

In the last few weeks, I feel like I suddenly got popular with all the Linkedin Introductions I have received. Not in the “hot girl at the dance” kind of way and not in the "our company just got a billion dollar valuation" way. Either my name is on wall in a bathroom stall or my Linkedin account hit a tipping point and has enough momentum to build on itself.

The issue I have with these Illin’ (Inconsiderate Linkedin Lazy INtro’s) Linkedin Introductions is that they arrive in the inbox with no note, no introduction, and what I feel is a lack of professionalism. If I have known you for awhile, we just caught up and when I get back to the office I see the invite to connect, I "almost" get it, but even would it kill someone to include a “great catching up with you"? Lately, I have been receiving a lot of invites from people I don’t know with no note, no introduction, nada. Just the standard message that your Linkedin introductions provide:

“I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn.”

For those of the Facebook generation, let me put it into perspective. OMG! Seriously! That's just rude! I don’t care how hot, popular, or rich you are, I just think it is a little assuming to show up in my inbox with no introduction or purpose and ask me for something. It is one step removed from the pop up that you receive when on a porn sight that says something like “Lavender92 left you a message”. Not that I would know. . . I work in HR.

Am I asking too much? Am I old fashioned?

Linkedin introductions give professionals a great vehicle to connect, has made it super easy to reach out and touch someone and more often than not the opportunity is squandered. Just a couple of clicks on the mouse and you have the potential to be connected. Look mom, no typing! But this isn’t Facebook. This isn’t a personal and informal network for the mamarazzi. I look at this as a platform and opportunity to show off professional chops. I don’t want 500 connections with people I have never worked with, emailed with, or been introduced to. I would rather have 50 quality connections that I trust, have worked with, or networked with. If I am going to connect with someone, I want the first impression to be one that is thoughtful, shows some respect, and yes, kisses up to some extent. I am not reaching out to you, you are reaching out to me. Are you such a celebrity that I should be jumping at the chance to connect with you?

Does this sound familiar to your Linkedin introductions? Show up, ask for something and assume I am going to run hither?

If you are reaching out to connect with me (and I am a nobody), is it wrong of me to ask WHY? Is that vain of me? I am not expecting anyone to say, “hey sexy, saw your picture on Linkedin, wanna hook up?” But would it kill anyone to type something like:

Heard you speak at the recruiting event last week and wanted to reach out. I took your advice, thanks! Let me know if I can return the favor.
Saw your blog post and wanted to reach out. Thought what you said about networking was spot on.
I saw that you are going to attend the Best Place to Work awards next week, and was hoping I could introduce myself there, just wanted to reach out.

The above gives me confidence that this connection may lead to something that we will both appreciate. It leaves me all touchy - feely - goosey- bumpy and even if you are a vendor looking to get into our pants, at least I get the feeling you are trying.

Am I asking too much when I ask for 2 sentences? Did common courtesy just pass me by?

Did technology kill professionalism and courtesy like video killed the radio star? I just did a speaking event for a college group last week and the thank you I received was an email that said “thank for speaking” in the subject line and the body of the email was blank. Not even a signature. Thanks a lot buddy.

Linkedin introductions are a tool. Just like your daddy said "Take care of the tool and the tool will take care of you."

Good Luck,

HRNasty

nasty: an unreal maneuver of incredible technique, something that is ridiculously good, tricky and manipulative but with a result that can’t help but be admired. EG: "He has a nasty forkball".

Comment by Amy Ala Miller on May 17, 2012 at 8:44am: You reading my mind Nasty? :) I've been getting a lot more of this too... I consider myself pretty open eith my LI network but we are NOT friends if we've never met or had any communication before, and no we are not colleagues from a place I have never worked.

For the first time since I joined LI I've just started ignoring people. I used to send a note asking how I can help or what about my profile caused them to send an invite but no longer.

Comment by Celinda Appleby on May 17, 2012 at 8:58am: Great timing on this article. I have been feeling the same exact way and complaining about it. So glad to hear both of you agree. I think 2 sentences should be the standard and at the very least please do not indicate we are "friends". That is like nails to a chalkboard to me. I too have been ignoring invites for the first time since joining LI.

Comment by Amy Ala Miller on May 17, 2012 at 9:23am: Thank you Celinda! I feel so bitchy for getting frustrated by the "friend" thing but if we've never communicated in any way...? Ugh it's just weird.

Comment by Celinda Appleby on May 17, 2012 at 9:28am: I used to take the time to verify the friendship but that was when the "friend connection" was used sparingly. I get at least 5 a week now!! I got one last week from a Director of Sourcing from one of our competitors, you would think he knew better. When I asked him why he wouldn't just drop me a line, he indicated that he saved those notes for only his connections. Hmmmm!!

Comment by Christopher Perez on May 17, 2012 at 9:52am: When I get these from the largest professional group I belong to on LI, I cut a little slack because there are usually at least a dozen or more common connections and it's not a huge community to begin with. But it's been a longstanding pet peeve of mine when people can't muster up the 10 seconds it takes to draft a personal note with their invitation.

I'm just glad that LI still gives us the opportunity to send a personal message when we reach out to connect (kudos to RBC also for providing this feature). Facebook used to do it, but for some reason they ditched it. I always enjoy that part of the connection process and I value it even more when an inbound invitation has a personal note.

Comment by Celinda Appleby on May 17, 2012 at 10:01am: Invites coming from Professional Groups or any groups within LI, I will approve without a note. Although would prefer a note.

Comment by Cindy Cremona, CPC on May 17, 2012 at 10:16am: Linked In ettiquette went the way of phone ettiquette - gone, baby, gone, but even quicker!

Comment by Sandra McCartt on May 17, 2012 at 10:23am: Interesting, for the first time i am also at the "ignore" stage of connection requests and right on the cusp of "spam", "IDK" Has anybody else started getting the little popup instant messages with recruiters asking if you know anybody for a position as an elephant trainer in Alaska. I got three or four yesterday. Ain't technology grand?

Comment by Suresh on May 17, 2012 at 10:38am: There is a lot more Fake profiles on linkedin recently. These are folks who typically join groups to post SPAM Links to their website (full of money making links). 100% of these Fake profiles I found, call themselves Recruiters.

Comment by Christopher Perez on May 17, 2012 at 11:00am: Sandra, I got (possibly) that same popup inquiry yesterday here on RBC. I hope we're able to self-police that behavior into appropriate channels (nothing wrong with networking when it's done correctly). Otherwise, I'll go into offline mode. I don't mind the occasional popup and have used it myself, but not to abruptly ask complete strangers for referrals.

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