Da Sourceranos - writtin by Levy and Sharib

What da effin heck is goin on heeah? The coffee that Tony Sourcerano’s just sipped misted heavily across his 27-inch LCD computer screen as the Glock symbol he used as a mouse pointer helped scroll the Flash scheme that talked of a recruiting challenge at RecruitFest2009.

Hey Bella, what is dis? A friggen professional conference or an ad for da ASPCA? What’s next – find dis guy Jason’s freakin’ squatted earls? Fuhgedaboudit!

Tony shook his head and wiped the coffee spittle from his chin. A low pitched growl seemed to come from his direction. It scared his new sourcing assistant, Isabella DeVarona, a luscious 23-year old who wore lipstick so red it made even Tony take his eyes off her red miniskirt that was so short it made no difference whether she wore anything else underneath.

As Tony said time and again, Isabella, you got what we like ta call…it. Nevah fuhget dat you gotta use it whenevah you can.

And Isabella wasn’t afraid of using it.

When Tony stopped in at a Panera Breads – something he never did before (Gimme a break! When they foist opened up a joint in Joisey, I taut dey coulda been family but den I found out dey was from friggen’ Missouri. Ain’t no Goombas at all in friggen Missouri. Fuhgedaboudit!), he heard Isabella’s voice – he thought drop dead gorgeous all through dinner that evening until Carmela Sourcerano smacked the look off his face (Abasta, Tony, abasta! You’ve robbed the cradle too many times!) – consistently and successfully up-sell retirees from a small coffee and a Danish to a fancy panini, a salad, and a Danish. She was as Tony's capo, Pussy Bamalisteo kept saying over and over again, …ain't no Southern California shylock, if ya know whad I mean. Da chick is an earnah.

So Isabella DeVarona found herself as the first associate of the Sourcerano's Admin Assistant placement agency, where in her first assignment she became the Company’s right hand person – actually it was more the President’s right hand that was active.

Three days later, she quit Panera's – org chart and telephone directory in hand; the President was sipping scotch through a straw and the company now used Da Agency for its temp staffing needs. And Bella moved right up the corporate flagpole, right into the heart of Sourcerano’s business. Just poifect.

He Val – evah hoid of dis guy, Jason? What is he, a friggin animal luvah or a recruitah kind-guy? Freakin Canuck.

Isabella just smiled because she knew – she really knew about Jason…and about RecruitFest2009. And so did Tony (Do you tink he tinks dat I'm - a spostata oh what?)…

Views: 103

Comment by Steve Levy on December 20, 2008 at 9:36am
She can be very mean...

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