When you coming home Dad? I don't know when . . . . but we'll get together then

It’s 11:30 PM on October 1st, 2008. I am at my desk in Raleigh tweaking searches, sending email to group moderators, guys in Germany, linkedIn InMails . . . Why? . . . because I have an exceptionally high priority client in FL that is looking for an SEM/BPS Manager and Project Manager for their team. It’s a very good gig for sure . . . a beautiful campus in sunny Florida, an on-site gym, jogging trails, a private chef, SAP BI accelerator - good stuff. The trouble is it’s a direct hire role with a great-but-less-than-consultant salary.

But really I’m here for the same reason you’re there. I travel for work. My family residence is 300 miles away. Sure, I’d be home 5 hours ago if I could be helping my son configure his Thomas the Train tracks for the 10th time today or having a glass of wine with my wife. But going home here, to a lonely room with a TV just isn’t doing it for me. So I work. Just like you. Long hours, 4 days a week, spend a day traveling and get home exhausted. I understand . . . believe me . . . I understand.

The funny thing is I love it. I love the focus I have when I’m here. Long seamless days are great for me. I get a lot done. But as my son grows up, I think about my childhood. My Dad was a consultant. If they had SAP in the 70’s he’d have been all over it. He was a Financial Analyst in the days of tape reels and punch cards. I remember him taking me in the data centers full of RV sized mainframes, monochrome monitors and those crazy random tape reel drives. I remember it vividly. What I fail to mention is that as a child, I could care less about any of it. I didn’t have any desire to be there. It’s cool to talk about now, but then . . . b-o-r-i-n-g.

Something to think about the next time you are faced with the decision of a lucrative consulting gig that takes you far away from your family, narrowing your focus and owning you for the week, or a “real job” which pays less, but allows you to go home each night and teach your kids how fractions work and sleep in the same bed with your spouse. It’s in our nature to quantify things, to define data sets and to create equations. Bottom line salary is easy to calculate. Life balance is not. Is it worth 20K or 50K less to be at home every night? You’re already calculating an equation, aren’t you? . . . We all have our price . . .

Today would be my Dad’s 74th Birthday. If he we’re here I’d be buying him a beer right now at the local Irish pub and listening to him tell me some story he’s probably told me several times before. Most likely it would be about consulting . . . when he was my age . . . which would be the days I was sitting in the data centers with him on a Saturday. Funny how our life’s meaning becomes welded to the profession we choose. It reminds me of the song “Cat’s in the Cradle”, one of Dad’s favorites. (LYRICS: http://www.birdsnest.com/catcrad.htm ) I’m sure he’s smiling down from the big Irish Pub in the sky right now singing “my boy was just like me.” Happy Birthday Dad!

See you Saturday Son.

Views: 146

Comment by Maureen Sharib on October 2, 2008 at 9:07am
Wonderful, touching writing. I hope to see more from you.

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