Driving the Process, Instead of the Process Driving You


Waking to the sound of rain always makes me feel like a little girl. I half expect to hear the low rumble of thunder as windows rock and roll. It is a youthful feeling, one I hope never leaves me. When I was about eleven years old, I stayed up late one night with my little brothers Out the bedroom window, we watched the lightening dance across the sky and felt the thunderous surges that followed. I would say I was scared but then my brothers would know that, indeed, I was.

We listened to "Bye, Bye Love" on the phonograph, singing and giggling, all while trying to control the fear we felt as the storm raged on outside. A fun memory, even though at the time I would have sworn I wasn't having fun. Almost every time I hear the crack of thunder or "I'm through with romance, I'm through with love...," I remember that night and the distraction we created for ourselves to overshadow the panic that clutched at us with every flash. A mere distraction, to be sure, but one that worked, and I suppose, one that still works.

We talked our way through a bad time, we sang our way past our fears and then saw beauty in what had initially scared us so dreadfully. We've laughed about this over the years, shared the story with our own children, and will forever value the experience. "Do you remember when..."

Learning to face your doubts or do a thing you don't want to are steps toward maturity. Taking and making the calls you'd rather not, seeing past initial ugliness, forgiving the dread, driving the process instead of the process driving you, stealing home when really, by all accounts, you should have stayed on third, calling in reinforcements once you realize you can't face it alone, broadcasting your liabilities in an effort to turn them into assets, and learning to love it.

The evolution of you and how you interact with others. Do you play nice? Do you invite change or do you hide under the covers, hoping the storm will pass leaving business/life, as you know it, unscathed? Put on the music and learn a new way to dance or put on the music and sing so loudly that you only hear your own voice? I'm not prepared to sing an opera alone, so I'll change processes if need be, I'll call for a back-up pitcher, if need be and I'll see my weaknesses as areas where I can learn instead of them as way to keep others down. The dread has been passed on to the next player. Batter up.

by rayannethorn



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