A few years ago, at the peak of an economic meltdown, I asked my husband for a divorce.   I knew our marriage was over; I thought about sticking it out a bit longer for monetary reasons but decided I just couldn’t.  It was over and it was time to move on.  He moved out two weeks after I made the announcement, when he was able to secure housing  – an apartment close by. 

His leaving and removal of income was a pretty dramatic hit to my household.  I was working for a contingency-based firm on commission only.  And no one was hiring and if they were, no one was leaving - meaning very small quality candidate pool.  I struggled for months to make ends meet.  At one point, I started selling household items in order to stay afloat.  I had gone to several jewelers to sell my engagement and wedding ring, none offered enough or what I thought it was worth – maybe I just didn’t feel right about selling it.  But I needed money and badly.

I do a little acting and directing in local community and independent theater.  One of my contacts through theater asked if I might appear in an independent film he was making.  He had written the script, was directing, and starring, as well.  I was eager to help out as I liked the idea and idea.  I was able to secure a location for a small part of the filming and also acted in a very minor role.  It was quite fun.  Before I met the crew, I stopped at yet another jeweler to have the rings appraised and see if I could sell yet.   No luck, I couldn’t.   I just was unable to go through with it, even though I desperately needed money.  I tucked the rings in a little envelope back inside my wallet and zipped it closed.

I hurried to the location shoot and absently threw my purse on the ground in the middle of the film crew, change my clothing and proceeded to make-up.  The filming took less than an hour and we were on our way.  I am sure you can guess what I discovered later that evening.  The rings had been stolen along with a few other items by a member of the crew.  I was surprised and hurt, mostly because I had gone out of my way to help them with the shooting and had offered my talent for no compensation, just my name in the credits.

And though it hurt, my dilemma had suddenly disappeared, I no longer despaired over selling the rings.  I never said anything to my friend, I let it go.  I had learned a lesson.  I imagined someone giving it to their happy girlfriend or perhaps they were able to hock it for more than an amount I had been offered.  And they needed the money for meds or to buy a new coat or tie so they could interview for a new job, a real job.  I twisted the scenario in my mind in order to deal with my disappointment.  That is what we do.  That is what I do.

Not everyone has the same value system as you.  But that shouldn’t change or alter your own value system.  Stick to your guns.  Treat people they way you always have treated them.  Don’t sell yourself short or oversell what you provide.  Give what you can and learn what you need to learn.   It’s that whole darn Golden Rule thing, you know?  It's too bad that not everyone and a certain film crew didn’t remember a priceless rule.

by rayannethorn