MEMO TO ALL EMPLOYEES RE: NEW LAW THAT ALLOWS FIREARMS IN VEHICLES AT WORK

Monday Memo to all Employees: Pursuant to the Texas Legislature passing a law that allows firearms to be allowed in vehicles on the company parking lot. We realize that all of you who carry pistols in your vehicles have the required permit to carry a concealed weapon. For those of you who have rifles and shot guns on the gun rack in your truck, those are considered firearms not part of your culture so will be covered by this memo. Due to our insurance provider raising our rates you will no longer be able to park your car on the employee lot if you have a firearm in your vehicle. Please park on the street in the zone designated "Right to Bear Arms Zone". Please notify HR if you will be parking in the RTBAZ in order that we may reassign your company parking space to those who do not carry a firearm in your vehicle.

Thank you,

Tuesday Memo to all Employees: We have 574 spaces available in the employee parking lot. Please let us know if you have been parking on the street and wish to have assigned parking on the company lot. Yes Mildred, you having been here 32 years may have the one closest to the front door.

Thank you

Wednesday Memo to All Employees: We have 575 spaces available in the employee parking lot. Mildred has decided that is is safer on the street where all the other employees are parking.

Thank you,

Thursday Memo to All Employees: The city has agreed to extend both the streets on the East Side and the West Side of the building. We have agreed to the increase in the property tax rate to cover the cost of extending both streets. The city has also agreed to allow employees to park in the vacant lot on the South side of the building. The company is contracting for sidewalks to be built from the streets and the vacant lot to all doors to the building with special ramps to comply with any disabilities and or wheel chair access. Additional lighting will also be added for security from the street. If anyone has any information or a description of the person or persons who mugged Mildred in the deserted employee parking lot last night please contact HR. We have added security patrols in the employee parking lot to insure the safety of anyone in that deserted area. Please be vigilant when crossing the lot on the way to the street. Bubba and Billy Bob have agreed to work overtime. They will remain in their trucks on the street until after 10:00 P.M.

Thank you,

Friday Memo to All Employees: Due to the high number of transients and other strange personages hanging out and parking on the empty employee lot without permission the company feels it will be in the best interest of all employees to cover the increased cost of insurance so that any of you who have firearms in your vehicles will no longer have to park on the street.

To defrey some of the increased cost of extending the streets, additional street lighting, sidewalks and the increase in insurance cost, Billy Bob , Bubba, Jake and several of the other guys in the warehouse have agreed to organize a gun show in the deserted parking lot in front of the building on Sat. Mildred and the girls in A/P will handle refreshments during the show at company expense. We hope all employees will enjoy the use of the lot as it has been empty for so long. Visitors who carry a firearm in their vehicle will no longer have to park two blocks down the street and may now park in the visitor parking. Sandra will once again be able to use her pellet gun that looks exactly like a P-38 to ping the birds in the trees on the parking lot so they do not poop on your vehicles. Please park in your previously assigned places on the employee lot on Monday.

We know you have always kept your firearms locked in your vehicles which is probably why we have never had any workplace violence. Have you ever seen Bubba shoot? Most of us have. The Right to Bear Arms does not stop 2 feet outside the company lot. Thank you for being responsible gun owners. Now Bubba will not have to drive 40 miles home to pick up his 30-06 before he goes two blocks from work to the gun range.

Thank you, and welcome back to life as we know it in West Texas

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Thomas Patrick Chuna on April 12, 2011 at 7:26am

Gun control means hitting what you aim at. :)

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Permalink Reply by Maureen Sharib on April 12, 2011 at 2:31pm

"The bigger hole's better."

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Permalink Reply by Sandra McCartt on April 12, 2011 at 3:30pm

LOL, both of you are hilarious. The funny thing about all this is that most companies already have a policy of no firearms on company property. Nobody walks in the front door packing heat unless they are already on a mission to blow everybody away. In which case nobody has much time to make it to the parking lot, unlock their car, unlock the trunk or console, shove in a clip and pull a Wyatt Earp. A lot of employees who have a permit to carry have their guns in their vehicle locked in the trunk or the console. Employees who carry are not going to get them out unless there is some horrible happening and even then, most would make every attempt to get out of the line of fire, call police and avoid contact with a nut with a gun at all costs. Those of us who are responsible gun owners who have a permit have been trained since childhood never to point a weapon at another person unless we plan to kill them to avoid being killed. It would have to be a complete threat of death before we would reach for a weapon or aim at someone. But what difference does it make that it's two more feet to the street if anyone is going to be irresponsible they can certainly walk two more feet or ten.

HR and or any company representatives do not go through vehicles in the parking lot searching for firearms unles someone is dumb enough to get one out and wave it around or show it to someone. Those situations are few and far between and result in an immediate termination. Even if the company paid the insurance so there was no policy anyone who revealed a weapon would be terminated immediately for any of about 20 reasons.

The whole mess about gun laws boils down to the problem that laws are only respected by law abiding people. A nut with a gun or a nut who wants a gun is not deterred or encouraged by any law or policy. The nut could simply park on the street. If they decided to shoot up the work place they can run around the corner to any WalMart or Sporting Goods store buy a rifle or a shotgun without much problem or pick one up on any street corner during lunch.

The questions remains, do law abiding citizens have the right to be able to defend themselves and their property with deadly force if they are attacked by non law abiding folks or a nut with a gun. Where ever the threat takes place. Wonder what would happened at Virginia Tech if any of the professors had been in possession of a firearm. Or would Columbine been the slaughter it was if the principal had been licensed to carry . when only the nuts and crazies are armed the power of prayer or company policy seems to make little difference.

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Permalink Reply by Tom Dimmick on April 13, 2011 at 3:22pm

If you are in a situation where a firearm is needed you better have it with you. There is at best, a minuscule chance that you will be able to go to your vehicle, unlock it, obtain the weapon and apply it appropriately. A firearm does no one any good locked away where it cannot be used when required.