The "How" is What Matters

Do you have the time or impetus to find happiness in your life? Sometimes we get so caught up in just getting by from day to day that we lose the big picture. The big picture of being content, of feeling settled, of finding our place - the place that feeds into the rest of your life, outside your work, your career. We get so caught up in our careers defining who we are that when faced with a downturn or stumbling block, irritation or depression can easily set in.

When someone asks if you like your job, how do you respond? Are you eager to speak of what fills your days or do you dread responding? Work life easily spills over into "rest of life." We take hits to our work very personally. Being with family members or friends in the evening or on the weekend can be tainted a bit if a deal has gone sour or money at the office is tight or work is slow. We tend to take it home with us. Even my dog has suffered from my bad day.

In my spare time, I work in independent theater as a director, actor, and I also manage publicity for a small non-profit theater. When I get to direct a show, I have the opportunity to share all kinds of knowledge and tips with the cast that I am leading. Invariably, one or two actors during the course of a production will have to utter a line that they hate. They cannot seem to get the right emphasis or understand the driving motivation behind the words they are memorizing. I have a standard answer for each of my actors that faces this difficulty. "You hate it? Learn to love it."

I am usually received with a quizzical look if they have not worked with me before. "You have to love the line, if your delivery is to work." You see, the problem is if you don't learn to love it, it will never come off right, it will never be comfortable, and it will never make sense. Learn to love it.

The same can be said for certain tasks that are less than enjoyable to you or the different duties that fulfill your job description. You don't like doing business development? Is it a necessary function of your job? Will your company/firm be successful without it? Learn to love it. You don't like making follow-up calls? Are they necessary to fill a position or complete a task? Learn to love it. You don't like conducting professional reference interviews? Does your HM require it? Learn to love it.

We are faced daily with difficulties and difficult people. The when and what are inevitable. The how is what matters.

by Rayanne Thorn

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Permalink Reply by Shawna Armstrong on July 30, 2009 at 9:02am

This is one of those things that is true for everybody, but is not easy for everybody. One's personality will dictate how easily this can be accomplished, it's all in the attitude. Those who are negative or pessimistic in nature may find these good words to live by, but not understand how to put it into practice long term (I almost said "effectively" Animal). I think people who are positive and optimistic tend to do this naturally. If I don't understand something, I thrive on the learning process. If I get stuck with a dreaded mundane task, I'll find ways to make it challenging or entertaining by making up a ridiculous song, doing it to a beat or trying to break speed records. That's the difference between those who can learn to love it and those who will just complain about it and not deliver.

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Permalink Reply by Shawna Armstrong on July 30, 2009 at 9:28am

Just received a text from an old friend that said "I'm great. Work sucks." I replied, "learn to love it."

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Permalink Reply by Suzanne M King on July 30, 2009 at 2:50pm

Comes down to a few gifts from good ole Mom and Dad: go for it!, find the good, be kind, forgive.

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Permalink Reply by Shawna Armstrong on July 30, 2009 at 3:52pm

Definitely don't want too cheery! That's just irritating.

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Permalink Reply by Mat von Kroeker on July 31, 2009 at 2:40pm

"The secret of health for mind and body

is not to mourn for the past

not to worry about the future,

or not to anticipate troubles,

but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly."

The Buddha