“Our job (in life) is not to straighten each other out, but to help each other up.” ~ Neva Cole

Watching the brou-hell-hell that broke out once again over the weekend here on the network I was reminded of the above adage. It seems to me everyone have their hearts in the right places – it’s just that some of us feel so firmly entrenched in our own opines that it’s hard to see the forest for the trees. Or is that the trees for the forest? I always wonder about that.

Which reminds me of another adage: “The greatest oak was once a little nut who held its ground.” ~ Author Unknown

No small lesson there. However, the idea of diplomacy is, as I recently ran across an Italian’s diplomat’s words, “…the art of letting someone have your way.” ~ Daniele Vare

As the great Ella Fitzgerald lyrics go, bewitching, bothering and bewildering have their honored places among us who can stand the discussion heat. It’s when it turns to berating, belittling and bedraggling that most of these strings die a belabored beheading.

Be-dazzled and be-deviled but try not to befuddle yourself with bedecking. Before you know it, if you learn the art of bespeaking, you’ll be-loved.


"It is perfectly monstrous the way people go about, nowadays, saying things against one behind one's back that are absolutely and entirely true." ~ Oscar Wilde

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Good morning Maureen. Just read your post here and I'm somewhat confused.......what happened?
I'm confused too, what did we miss?
Maureen, those lyrics are from Pal Joey. I never consider them to be Ella's.
The funny thing of that whole misguided thread - at least to me - was that dude never called Indians "racists". I don't even think he was talking about "race" at all - just nationality which is entirely different. It was something like "Indians, not Canadians or Americans" which seemed pretty clear to me.

Then it looks like the topic was picked back up by John in his post.

If people would spend as much time taking care of their clients they would be amazed with the results.
I was corrected privately at a Magic presentation once and informed that the more correct terminolgy for persons from India is "Southeast Asian". Not sure that it applies.
This post bothers me to the very core of my being. I literally have a weird pit in my stomach about this and where it can go. If I was to be asked about what I think about this in person, I would be momentarily speechless as to the nature of the post. Most know what I mean - this is blatantly meant to be hurtful and although not directed as me, it is upsetting to me and everything I stand for. I am extremely disgusted with the reference to Gladys Kravitz and the link explaining who she even is (of which, like most readers, I had absolutely no idea).

This reminds me of the intention of John Sumser's original post:

Remember that those words and letters on your computer screen are a person.
This is really easy to forget. In the heat of the moment, alone with your thoughts and reactions, it's hard to recall that the text you are mad about is another living, breathing human with feelings. It's easy to say harsh things that are hurtful. Try not to do it.

Understand the person who is receiving your message.
You know what happens when you confront a liar with his lies, right? He always denies them. Always. Many responses to your online postings are that easy to predict. If you are going to draw fire for what you say, be sure you know why you are doing it. If your writing is obviously hurtful, write it but don't publish it.

Use the right function for the message.
RecruitingBlogs.com has blogs and forums. If you want a conversation, use the forums. If you want to confront, to post a commercial message, to have a one sided dialog, to preach, use the BLOGS [*** Not the Forum ***]. Free speech is important at RecruitingBlogs.com. Manners dictate the appropriate forum.

I have no intention of getting into any type of further discussion about this - all I am stating is that this behavior bothers me to the very core of who I am as a person . . . and for that, I am taken aback.
If I may, I would also like to ask any Editors of the site (both Ami and Jason Davis) to conduct a review of this post. Surely, I can't be the only member that objects to its intent, purpose, and moreover, opportunity for cryptic bashing of the worst cyber-bullying kind.

Now is a perfect opportunity to heed John's advice on what he sees to be the development of community, 99.9% of which I am in agreement with. Let's seize this window of opportunity as I can think of no better time. As a little member, I have no power to take the leadership reigns myself, so all I can do is humbly request that the leaders of RBC seize such a perfect opportunity to live its community principles put in place by John Sumser and the trailblazing work of Coate (last updated 10 years ago).

You know, I've been earning my living online now since 1997, and the one thing I simply cannot understand is......

"Why can't people simply say, thank you for your input?"...and leave it at that?

Sure, I might disagree with your ideas. I might think you're more intellectually challenged than a parakeet who lacks a graduate degree in quantum physics from M.I.T. If blessed with more than 38 seconds of free time, I might even indulge in wondering what sort of personal insecurities you might have that lead you to attack like a Johnny Sokko Transformer on strawberry-flavored steroids.

And then I'll let it go. After all, I cannot control what anyone says...but I CAN choose to control how I react.

Remember - everything that is written online gets inscribed into the Way of the Internet for decades that follow. When a potential client is considering my services, I want to ensure that everything I've penned (typed? Smoke-signalized?) will contribute towards

YES! I want to engage her services!

Compared to:

Houston, we have a negative on that trajectory....

Politeness costs nothing yet yields tremendous benefits.

'Nuff said,

I'm assuming this is a joke, right? Josh - am I reading your sarcasm correctly? If not please consider me as one of the people here who "don't get it".
Swords cut both ways. There were points made on ALL sides that warranted the discussion that ensued. The point of discussion is to move forward. Some of us may falter, some of us may fall, but it behooves all of us to pick up our fallen comrades and soldier on. Soldier on.
Yep, but Ella did such a good job w/ them.

"Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered" (correct title is "Bewitched") is a show tune and popular song from the 1940 Rodgers and Hart musical Pal Joey. The song was introduced by Vivienne Segal in the 1940 Broadway production, and also sung by Miss Segal both on the 1950 hit record and in the 1952 Broadway revival. The song was performed by Carol Bruce in the 1954 London production.

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