A few months ago, I had a scare. It was a health scare that set my mind reeling. I, pretty much, had myself dead and buried and while I wasn't afraid of the possibilities, I was definitely afraid of the impossibilities. It meant I would never go to Paris. It meant I would never be a Grandma. It meant I might never find love. It meant I would never own a convertible again. And it meant I would never jump out of an airplane.

Errrccchhhh! (That's me slamming the brakes on that converitble I would never own.) Wait a minute. I was never going to, ever, jump out of a perfectly good airplane in the first place. Why would I? I am not an adrenaline junkie. I am not a thrill seeker. I am not a crazy person who has to try something more crazy at each birthday to prove I have lived. I don't even have a bucket list. I am just a person who likes to work, hang with family, spend time outdoors, go to the theater every so often, see a movie now and again, and is still fascinated by a sunset.

We spend a significant amount of our lives wishing for something bigger, yearning for the feast, knowing that we deserve more than the party that has been laid before us. I wonder why it is we cannot be satisfied with what we have, with what we have been given. For me, it isn't so much that I want more, it is that I don't have enough, that I haven't been around long enough to have learned everything that I was supposed to have learned.

Human beings tend to learn by repetition. I guess I haven't repeated enough. I haven't learned enough, I think there is still some space left in my head and I need to fill that space up. And while my health scare turned out to be nothing more than aging, it was just enough to make me feel my age. What I have left to do, to learn, had better get done. Time will not stop for me, no matter how passionate or demanding I become - apparently, these traits have usually worked for me in the past. And from this lesson, I learned that I am not dying, that I am not too old, that I have more to complete, more impossibilites to conquer and, really, more to learn.

Is there ever a time when enough is enough? Believe it or not, I have actually eliminated people from my life that have been satisfied with just having enough, individuals that feel complete no matter what stage of their life they're are in. I think that would be nice, but it just isn't in the cards for me. Enough will never be enough. So my thirst and hunger for more will drive me to the convertible, to the house on the hill, to Paris and all that still awaits me, for I am not done.

by rayannethorn