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Permalink Reply by Sandra McCartt on April 27, 2012 at 6:34pm

@Marnie, there is an old addage that one should never play bridge or mixed doubles with their spouse if they want to live to see the sun come up.  Being unemployed for the first time in 20 years is an ego buster for anybody and even more so for a male of the species who feels it is up to him to be the head of the household.

 

I would suggest that you might just email him some links to some good information on writing cover letters, tailoring resumes and other job search techniques.  It's also difficult for a family member to try and help in a job search particularly when it's a spouse or an adult child.  I would suggest telling him that he might need to speak with a recruiter who works in his field.  If you work with other recruiters in your office or know other recuriters in your area that you feel are good.  Suggest to him that he contact them as it might be better for him to work with someone not related.  then keep your mouth shut until he asks you for your opinion.  Advice asked for from a family member is always more well received than that offered unsolicited in a "Here is what you need to do manner".  If he is resistant to working with any recruiter just sit back and bite your tongue and let him flop around with it until he asks for your help.  It may take a minute but it beats putting more stress on an already stressful situation.  Who knows he may be able to do it himself and announce to you that he has found another job.  Sometimes that is important.

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Permalink Reply by Marnie W. Katz on April 30, 2012 at 10:32am

@Sandra.. Thanks for the advice. As a recruiter for most of my adult life its soooo hard not to get involved. I need to learn to shut my mouth. LOL. He was employed for 20 years with UPS working as an Area HR Manager for the last 6 out of the Supply Chain Soultions Atlanta headquarters. Dumb question for you or anyone reading this. Are there actual recruiters that specialize in placing HR people? It just occured to me that I have no idea. Thanks all for listening to my rant. I think this might be harder on me than him. :)

Sandra McCartt said:

@Marnie, there is an old addage that one should never play bridge or mixed doubles with their spouse if they want to live to see the sun come up.  Being unemployed for the first time in 20 years is an ego buster for anybody and even more so for a male of the species who feels it is up to him to be the head of the household.

 

I would suggest that you might just email him some links to some good information on writing cover letters, tailoring resumes and other job search techniques.  It's also difficult for a family member to try and help in a job search particularly when it's a spouse or an adult child.  I would suggest telling him that he might need to speak with a recruiter who works in his field.  If you work with other recruiters in your office or know other recuriters in your area that you feel are good.  Suggest to him that he contact them as it might be better for him to work with someone not related.  then keep your mouth shut until he asks you for your opinion.  Advice asked for from a family member is always more well received than that offered unsolicited in a "Here is what you need to do manner".  If he is resistant to working with any recruiter just sit back and bite your tongue and let him flop around with it until he asks for your help.  It may take a minute but it beats putting more stress on an already stressful situation.  Who knows he may be able to do it himself and announce to you that he has found another job.  Sometimes that is important.

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