If i Ruled the World of Recruiting..I Would...

Issue an edict that all recruiting would be cancelled from the time school is out until school starts in August. Because trying to coordinate interviews between candidate vacations, hiring manager vacations, candidates not on vacation covering for coworkers on vacation is a feat that only Chris Angel could pull off. Not to mention all of the above transporting their kids, grandkids and siblings to and from camps or schools or the mountains or the beach. Same goes for Dec. 15 until Jan 2.

Require that all recruiters, candidates and the public at large be prohibited from putting anything in writing until they know the difference between the personal possessive pronoun your and the contraction of you are which is you're. They may sound the same but you're wrong if you use your pronouns incorrectly.

It would be mandatory that all hiring managers interview with their own team at least once a year so they knew what their interview process was really like from the candidate side of the equation. Mr. HM you try taking the red eye from Chicago to Dallas, fighting for a taxi or a shuttle, filling out forms then spending the day talking to five people who are either late for the time appointed or run the interview over for 20 minutes so the rest of the day is a mess. Resulting in a reschedule of the return flight, leaving candidate sitting in the airport until midnight and back home at 3:00 AM to try and be back at work the next morning. Or worse the last flight is cancelled so candidate spends the night in the airport and has to lie like a rug for coming to work late next day.

It would be mandatory that all candidates spend 20 minutes in full dress interview attaire with a rep from "What Not to Wear" before they were allowed to leave the house for an interview. No exceptions. And they would not be allowed to argue..just fix it.

Polygraph tests would be required of all candidates and recruiters every hour on the hour. Now wouldn't that be fun to be the guy who reads the tests.

If you're queen or king of recruiting for a day and could make the rules what would you in your infinite wisdom dictate?

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Permalink Reply by Elizabeth A Olesen on August 4, 2010 at 12:09pm

This is hilarious and so true!

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Permalink Reply by Sandra McCartt on August 4, 2010 at 12:43pm

I have just been informed by my friend Charlie the Tuna, Improv Guy that the correct spelling of Chris Angel is Criss not Chris. It always happens when I bitch about somebody misusing the English language. The Cyber Gods will get me every time. Thanks Charlie, correction and retraction are noted.

Just for the record, if one only reads the corrections/retractions in the newspaper, one can really know the truth.

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Permalink Reply by Mark Lennard on August 4, 2010 at 12:52pm

Hello Again Sandra

Here is my response from across the pond and now back on British soil since my recent trip to Turkey (don't even ask!)..

In my 15 years of recruiting I think I would like to include in my questioning to my candidates the following killer question... "On average 90% of a candidates resume is the truth and nothing but the truth, 10% of a candidates resume is fabricated and does not provide the full picture, Mr Candidate what part of your resume represents the 10% ?"

Now as for clients, they should learn some lessons in how to create a good impression of their company, it seems that clients tend to think that they are very much in the driving seat when it comes to the hiring process, but currently there is a skills shortage and the client needs to be fully aware that he/she is selling themselves and their company as much as the candidate is trying to impress them.

One final point, as well as suggesting the candidate goes through a "what not to wear" process... how about the candidate also goes through a hygiene process too!! In my career as a recruiter I have had at least half a dozen clients inform me that due to body odour they were not able to progress the candidates application further.. Now how much is a can of deodorant these days hey?... And as for the female candidate with stiletto heals and a low cut bra don't even get me started!

See ya later Mench.

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Permalink Reply by Sandra McCartt on August 4, 2010 at 1:09pm

Elizabeth - I think the truth is almost always hilarious if we peel off the PC like a banana peel.

Mench - Well said. You forgot Spandex, god who could forget Spandex. An instrument of the devil designed to cover fat without seems splitting..I hope. Wonder why people do not know they stink, do they think it's the cat box? Stilettos and low cuts - honey, whakinea yobs you fillin'

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Permalink Reply by Mark Lennard on August 4, 2010 at 1:15pm

Oh dear McCartt, again you have me in hysterics.. on that note im outa here.. it's 18:15 in the UK and im now going to attempt the dreaded commute home on the London tube, but whilst everyone will be sitting on the train looking as if the world ended last week, and they only just found out... I will be smirking with thoughts of body odour, polygraphs, stilettos and bras... Until the next time.

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Permalink Reply by Thomas Patrick Chuna on August 4, 2010 at 9:42pm

Sandra, I can relate to your edicts, lol.

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Permalink Reply by Chaser on August 6, 2010 at 5:28pm

Hilarious!

"Require that all recruiters, candidates and the public at large be prohibited from putting anything in writing until they know the difference between the personal possessive pronoun your and the contraction of you are which is you're. They may sound the same but you're wrong if you use your pronouns incorrectly. "

HAHAHA

And enjoyed the rest of the article too but that particualr paragraph had me rollin!

-C