Insightful vs. Inciteful

When decisions line your day or your business path, they must be taken seriously. And while light-heartedness is good, it must be kept in check when facing important choices. Gathering insight can be an arduous task. Looking into a situation and knowing which direction to move requires commitment and engagement. Insight is more than just intuition: it is the delicate balance between feeling and thinking and toss in more than a pinch of experience.

I recently posted a link on my facebook profile page that I thought was profound and it was important to me. It was my profile page, right? I should be able to post whatever I choose, right? It was slightly political, something from which I usually stay far away. And addressed an issue that I had studied in school that had recently been brought back into light. Mind you, this wasn't my writing or even my opinion, I just thought it was reflective.

A couple friends posted opinions and then others attacked these opinions with nastiness and blazed their own hot views across my page. Typically, I do not mind inciting educational banter. I believe an open mind is a good thing and you never know when your words or the words of others might do just that, open a mind or induce conversation -- educate. However, this particular thread quickly turned nasty. It was not my intent to encourage a mob mentality or promote personal attacks.

Just as I was contemplating the deletion of said thread, another friend sent me a private message, very carefully and gently worded, apologizing to me but stating that he felt the conversation had turned offensive. I agreed. I deleted. Yes, my intent, my purpose was to be inciteful, I wanted to mix it up. My purpose was also to be insightful, I wanted to educate. I am not sure either was achieved.

Online Social Media is an open forum where cyber-trespassing is easily committed, and often. It may be difficult, at times, to keep oneself in check, to know what lines are worth crossing. We often feel freer in email or social media to effortlessly say what is on our minds. The lesson I learned was important, know your intent and know your audience. I failed to realize that it is not "my page" when it is a public forum.

Respect must be key when inciting or insighting.
Be careful what you unlock.

by rayannethorn

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Maureen Sharib on August 31, 2009 at 5:59am

You've hit upon one of my pet peeves, Rayanne.

As in telephone sourcing, it's not so much what you're saying as how you say it sometimes.

There's been a saying bantered around as long as I can remember and it goes like this:
"Never talk about politics or religion."

I say phooey on that. I believe it's one of the reasons the world is in the hot water it's in.
Why not talk about either one?

The trick here though is to be able to talk respectfully on the subjects and very few people seem to know how to do that anymore. I think it's because they never learned how to do it in the first place because they were heeding that old (and bad) advice.

People (in general) don't know enough about:
-other religions
-political issues/historical fact

This is a problem. When the populace is ill-informed, unpracticed and as a result, biased in their opinions that have never been challenged, fireworks are sure to follow.

Think about it - how many people can you talk politics with before very long they start shouting/getting loud/hostile? Very few. Why is that?

I say talk the subjects 'til you're blue in the face. Or, better yet, let the other guy talk the subjects 'til he's blue in the face. That way he won't have any energy left over to argue.

I think deleting that string may have been a mistake. What other way do they have to learn except to come back to the thing and let their hostility/poorly chosen words and sentiments/thoughtless ranting show itself for what it is in the cold light of day?

Words are powerful things. Written words, sometimes more powerful.

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Permalink Reply by Thomas Patrick Chuna on August 31, 2009 at 8:25am

Rayanne, I wouldn't have deleted the thread..so other people turned nasty - big deal..not your responsibility. You spoke your mind in the original post, and that's what the page is there for. If the other participants turn into rock throwing third graders, that's on them, not you.

Worst case: if people take their disagreements with your opinions to such a level that they judge you and attack you, just delete them as "friends", and keep on trucking.

Otherwise, understand that you got what you wanted..to educate and provoke discussion.. once the genie is out of the bottle, you can't control other people and their reactions..so the choice is, keep everything sedate, and just post up pictures of your cat, or have opinions, and decide ahead of time to let everyone be responsible for their own responses to those opinions.

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Permalink Reply by Maureen Sharib on August 31, 2009 at 1:30pm

These things are hard to experience but the witnesses to them (both those in the "discussion" and those on the sidelines watching) learn a great deal. A great deal.

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Permalink Reply by Maureen Sharib on August 31, 2009 at 6:47pm

Planets in sync. You believe in that stuff too?
:)

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Permalink Reply by Thomas Patrick Chuna on August 31, 2009 at 6:55pm

Yep - learn a great deal not only about the subject being discussed, but also about those doing the discussing.

Maureen Sharib said:

These things are hard to experience but the witnesses to them (both those in the "discussion" and those on the sidelines watching) learn a great deal. A great deal.

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Permalink Reply by Steve van horn on September 2, 2009 at 7:32pm

Got to tell me next time we meet, what was so inciteful?! I usually find your blogs to be insightful :) I fully agree with Maureen, I get tired of concealing my feelings or believes because I don’t want to step on anyone’s feelings. You know me Rayanne, I don’t like playing PC games, but on the other hand, I get mad & frustrated by others ignorance. I recently got called a racist just because I continue to disagree with the President. I have always believed that you judge people by their actions! What makes this Country great has always been the ability to RESPECTFULLY disagree without fear of reprisal. When one starts yelling and screaming, it is their childish way of dealing with the fact that they have no intelligent response. It’s hard to be the bigger person, but, what else can you do? Like Thomas said, to loosely paraphrase ,” If they are going to be asses, that's on THEM, not you. Worst case: if people take their disagreements with your opinions to such a level that they judge you and attack you, just delete them as "friends", and tell them to f*@# off.”

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Permalink Reply by Maureen Sharib on September 3, 2009 at 6:34am

Steve, I asked a question on LinkedIn a couple weeks back. It asked:
Do you think there is less/more hesitation (from media/populace) in criticizing this sitting American president (Obama) than the last (Bush)? Why?
You can view the string here.
What startled me in the answers was the assertion by some that any form of criticism these days gets marked as racism. I don't think you're at all alone in your frustration. The question is open for another week if any of you'd like to add anything.