Actually, it happened last night...

I sat down to my computer, tapped it for ignition and nothing, I didn't panic for surely, it had just stalled a bit. Nope. No start-up. I tried a hard reboot,ugh!  Just a black screen asking me to reboot. "I'm trying!" I screamed at the screen while clutching its sides in my hands. I have experienced this before, though that time was the blue screen of death. One would think that I would have learned my lesson. Back up your schtuff!

Truth be told, I was getting ready to; I was just waiting for my move to be complete. But should'ves are a sad tale that no one really wants to hear. I ventured to work this morning, my computer lovingly cradled in my arms, hoping that by some miracle, it will be revived. Keep your fingers crossed for me and I will keep you posted on the impending doom I am trying to stave off.

My computer is only 18 months old. It shouldn't be disposable; it was an investment. Its contents are my soul - sad, but true. I'd say pray for me, but that would just be silly, right?

I write every evening. There is this place I go to, it is the world where I get lost in words, where I let go of the day and contemplate this and that. This and that being the conversation I had, the spread sheet I put together, the tide I watched sweep away a towel, the bird that swooped at me, the four loads of laundry in my hallway, the remote car key with the dead battery, the drying lavender hanging in my kitchen, the toilet that won't flush... all those real life things that you hope stand still while you work and will wait for your contemplation and action.

I guess I should have acted more and contemplated less. I think we all say that at one point or another in our lives. It's not that I was lazy, it's not that I was thoughtless. It is that I was living. And how can I regret that?

©by rayannethorn