Less than Perfect

Learning to let go is a difficult accomplishment for most. Yep, I'm calling it an accomplishment. For me, it is definitely that. There are many things that present themselves to us along the way that would be better served by letting go. A fight with a spouse nor family member. Bitterness resultant of a failed marriage or relationship. Hurt feelings from misunderstandings. A less than successful business venture. And so many more.

I have difficulty letting go of responsibility, learning to delegate has never been a strong suit. I fear that it I let go, the task or function may neither get done correctly or at all. This is true for my work and in my home with my family.

Since we all know that recognition is the first step in change, this is a a good thing that I know of this particular difficulty. Even letting my children do the dishes is hard for me. And not just because I don't think they will do it right. But also that it may indicate my failure as a mother. Mothers are to do dishes. Mothers are to do laundry. Mothers are to tuck their children in at night. Mothers are to be active in the PTA, and make fantastic cookies, and never disgrace themselves or their families. Mothers are to be good.

Do you see my dilemma? I have learned to set my own self up for failure by having too high of expectations for "me." A single, working mom can not possibly be expected to be perfect at everything. I would never hold another woman in a similar situation to such high standards. Letting go.

Work is no different. I know what I need to do. I know what I need in order to accomplish what I need to do. My to-do list for next week seems impossible. I will ask for help. I will ask for clarification and then, God wiling and the creek don't rise, I will delegate when necessary. This feels like a a pledge. Maybe that is what it needs to be.

No one is perfect. Perfecting oneself, one's life, one's practices are all possible. But only if you are willing to let go. It's easy to say, a little more difficult to do. It helps to remember that I really am doing the best I know how. How about you?

by rayannethorn

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Permalink Reply by Sandra McCartt on October 9, 2010 at 2:34pm

Did you ever consider that not allowing others, kids or employees or co workers to take on responsibilities or be part of the solution might actually be failing to allow them to be self sufficient, advance or take responsibility for their own actions and well being. The question is , if you were struck by lightening or run over by a garbage truck tomorrow would all those folks that you take care of and all those tasks be able to take care of themselves or get done. It's my take that a responsible leader always has the team or the family prepared to move forward without a glitch if they are unable to do so.

A valued mentor of mine once explained to me that my feeling that i was the one who had to be ultimately responsible for everything and everybody might actually be a bit of arrogance on my part. When i looked at him with a strange look, he said, "you are no more responsible for all that than you are for the riots in Africa or the floods in Mexico , you don't really have that much power, so get over it and let somebody else have their turn. Everybody might be a bit happier and learn more if you will sit down and shut up."

Perhaps sometimes doing our best is to allow others to do their best.