More Than a Working Stiff

I had a pretty creepy experience recently..., but not one to just sit back and be creeped-out, I confronted the situation and found myself laughing at the foolish behavior of others. The rain has been pretty consistently non-stop for the last four days in my neck of the woods. And while I am certainly a creature of habit, I love creating new ones. I moved to a new location last summer and there is still much to explore in my new "home town." I only just learned of a local patisserie and decided to stop in on my morning commute.

The wind and rain precluded me from just parking anywhere, so I was in for a bit of an expedition as I traversed alleys and parking meters. I did stumble on a back parking lot specifically set aside for the bakery and its neighboring businesses. As I parked and fumbled with my purse, hat and umbrella, I saw two men shuffling around in what appeared to be a bush covered back walkway. As I drew near the area, the shifty nature of these two gentlemen, at first, put me ill at ease. I didn't like that I felt even more uncomfortable, given that I was already uncomfortable trying to find a little whole in the wall business.

So, in usual Rayanne fashion, I stopped when I was right in front of these two characters, one had now hidden behind a wall and was peaking around it, and I looked the other right in the eye and asked, "What are you guys up to?" There was a pause, for apparently my no-fear approach had caught this dynamic duo off guard. Character #1 said, in a very laid back fashion, “My friend here is smoking a little pot…, and he just.., we just…” I cut him off before he stumbled even further and said, “No worries, I’m not a cop. Have a great day” then I went on my way snickering.

I shook my head as I continued to look for the bakery. I was very glad that I didn’t become immobilized with fear – absolutely misplaced fear - at 7:30am on a workday. I could have proceeded along my way, never confronting but looking over my shoulder, as I proceeded. Facing the awkwardness head-on squashed any residual trepidation and I was able to enjoy my coffee and pastry in peace and the knowledge that looking someone squarely in the eye is unnerving for them, not me. Gotta love it when you know something they don’t know.

Though not as faulty as the cat that swallowed the canary, confidence in self comes across in many ways. It can be read in your walk, it can be seen in how you hold your head, and it can be heard in your assurance of voice. It isn’t easy, to be sure, but it is what wins awards and big accounts. It is what sets you apart. It is what propels your image forward, to the front. And what is wrong with that? There are no more starting quarterbacks or head cheerleaders. This is the big league and it is built of those who know what they want and what they need to do to get it. We may only be seen as working stiffs, but the differential comes in the form of a sincere thank you and paycheck at the end of each month. Oh…, and that next call.

by rayanenthorn

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Permalink Reply by Thomas Patrick Chuna on December 22, 2010 at 9:05am

I'm all about projecting the confidence, but..

You got lucky too..in that these other guys didn't decide you were interrupting something important and then decide to commit a violent act in response.

That part always gets left out of the whole "don't act like a victim and you'll get left alone" discussion...Sometimes projecting confidence can be taken as a challenge.. that's the fun part, everyone reacts different.. 99% of the time, people are compliant, but there's always that wild card..

Violence isn't a random occurence that comes out of nowhere...it's decided upon by the person committing the act.

The question then becomes, what do we do when people don't react in ways we're programmed to expect them to?

Thinking along these lines can not only keep us safer, but can also make us better recruiters if we think about it hard enough.

I took part in a womens self defense seminar last weekend, so your opening scenario put me in a certain mindset, sorry.

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Permalink Reply by Sandra McCartt on December 22, 2010 at 11:17am

Rayanne,

Stay out of the bushes with strange men smoking pot. Stay out of the bushes with strange men doing anything. There is a good reason why God made the policia, so nice ladies can call them when they see strange goings on.

While I agree with confidence, sometimes the smart money says send someone who has the training and experience to deal with a situation if it goes South. And that includes recruiting. :)

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Permalink Reply by Thomas Patrick Chuna on December 23, 2010 at 3:34pm

I'm not advocating living in fear at all, just awareness.

When we look at someone, and judge them as non threatening ( or threatening, as the case may be ) and then proceed to interact, we lose sight of the fact that the processing of these thoughts has taken place entirely in our own mind, through our own filters.

Other people have their own ideas about how they'll take to you, and in the streets, the consequences of interacting can be fierce, depending on the situation and who is involved.

The social boundaries that protect us in the workplace and classrooms don't really exist everywhere we go, just because we have been taught to rely on them.

That's the conundrum of life isn't it? openness and living, versus self protection.