With all due respect, I am sure you are not "apathetic to those who are facing tough times..." but, rather, sympathetic.
Wow, that was a big misuse, I apologize.. what I actually meant was "empathetic," as in being able to understand another person's feelings. Sympathetic works too. :)
Sandra, you are totally in line with what I was going for in your second comment.
I think plenty of recruiters have been in these interviews, so what I'm wondering is how do you help these people who don't realize what they're doing wrong is causing the very thing they're upset about?
I'm sad to see it came off to some as that I don't care about these people or that I don't want to help them. I wrote this because I do care about them, and want to help them. These are a difficult candidate to handle because they often speak very negatively about previous companies they've interviewed with and feel that they were wronged by. This isn't the sad, discouraged job seeker I'm talking about-- it's the angry, bitter one.
So I am looking for a way to get through to the person so they can change the behaviors, without putting myself or my company at risk. Unfortunately, I don't know if there is a way to do that... I guess maybe it's not my place. Maybe someone will see this and realize they're doing these things...
Mia Hirschel said:With all due respect, I am sure you are not "apathetic to those who are facing tough times..." but, rather, sympathetic.
Lauren, i don't think what Amy is talking about here is being smug or judgemental of someone who is "down" from being in the market for an extended amount of time.
As i understand her comments she is asking what to do with those who are in a state of denial or what i call the "yes but" attitude. As her example states, the candidate who says, "It doesn't make any difference what i wear". Of course it does. It always has and it always will. Being asked all kinds of questions in an interview situation has been and always will be the situation.
When people reach the stage of deflecting empathic advice from someone they contact for assistance about anything because they have become bitter ,anything we say will be met with rebuttal. Realizing that a person is past the point of being willing to listen or accept any suggestion is part of our job. We can spend endless hours listening to complaints that are not productive for the person. I have referred many candidates to counseling when i realize that the scope of their depression or bitterness is past my training and ability to correct as a recruiter.
We do not do them a service by exacerbating a forum to air complaints.
That which is not acknowledged can not heal. Acknowledgement is up to the individual, denial of our own responsibility by blaming the interviewer for asking questions or the expectation of professional dress is simply destructive behavior on the part of the candidate and will not be changed by anyone other than themselves no matter what we say to them. In that mind set they will simply add us to the list of people they blame for their situation.