Getting Past the Past, Part 5


The past plays a major role in our present. It is sad but true. You may even wish to not believe it, but there are things that cannot be changed. The past is one of them. We live lives that are changed at every moment, by every action, by every word, and sometimes by every thought.

A couple years ago, when I first started writing Bonus Track, I had a regular feature called “The Butterfly Effect.” This was a topic I regularly wrote about because I am a firm believer in the fact that in a flash, a life can forever be changed. The Butterfly Effect is based in the “theory” or whimsical scientific thought that the flap of a butterfly’s wings on one side of the earth could alter a life on the other side. I don’t know about that, but I do know that we all have opportunities or incidences that occur that change who we are or how we think or how we will react and these happen every single day.

Case in point, when I was a senior in high school, I moved to a small town in Indiana. It just so happens that to that same small town, four months before I, a boy from my high school in California also moved. Coincidence? Maybe. Butterfly wing flap? Most definitely.  We became instant “best” friends because we had a commonality; we were two kids from suburban LA transplanted into the same small Indiana town... transported into a place and time unfamiliar to us both. This relationship started because two people with similar backgrounds were thrust into an uncomfortable situation and they were drawn to each other. And for a while, it was good.

Sadly, our relationship eventually turned sour as neither of our specific needs were being met. Result: the relationship became abusive. And that, my friends, changed every future relationship I would ever have. The ripple effect is real. It may take a bit more than a butterfly wing flap to alter the course of a life, but not much more. Facing the past is not the same as getting past it. Thinking it through and assigning it a place in your heart and brain does – it moves it out of the way. You pick up the log that blocks the road of your life and you either move it to the side of the road or you huck it as far away as possible. Either way, you are no longer tripping on it.

And ignoring it? That doesn’t move it, it just means you will continually trip over it because your eyes are closed. Confront, figure out what it means and what it changes, assign it to a place and put it there. Let it rest. Then you can move on, you can deal with it, you can navigate your life knowing how you got here and seeing the future more clearly – the trees have been cleared. It’s kind of cool how that works.

by rayannthorn

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Wow Rayanne....I have to say I'm in this place right now in my life!  Ended a 7 year relationship about 3 years ago and have made great strides in reinventing myself but somehow, this individual seems to always resurface in my heart and my thoughts.  Maybe I haven't fully dealt with the whole "moving the log" out of the way.


Thank you for sharing this wonderful story......

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