Dear Claudia,

I have always wanted to recruit internationally, and the job of my dreams just presented itself: multinational company, executive recruiting, heavy travel and C-level visibility. This will mean a lot of changes for my husband and our 15 year old twins who are active in just about everything you can imagine at school these days. They say that the decision is mine, but I know how much it will affect the entire family and I don’t want to hear them complaining later. What do you suggest I do?


Dear Torn,

Wow – tough problem for sure. On the one hand you’ve got a dream job, and on the other you’ve got a family willing to support you. Am I missing something here?

It sounds like your real problem may be tied to Superwoman Syndrome: you’re faster than a speeding bullet, leap tall buildings in a single bound, and never miss a game or recital or parent-teacher conference. You bring home the bacon, fry it up for dinner, and keep hubby happy to boot. And with all of that competence and brilliance, how in the world does your family keep up? Better, how do they compete – and why even try?

Change happens. Not for any particular reason, it’s just a fact of life – and the interesting story is never told when things are running smoothly; it’s how we manage change, conflict, and failure that counts. Your family may be more ready than you think to pick up the reigns in your absence – and the opportunity to become more self-reliant is a very healthy thing for 15 year olds (and husbands too, come to think of it). Give them a chance. The bonus is that as you conquer new and uncharted territory in your professional life, you are demonstrating the self-confidence and grit that you hope your children will apply in theirs. It’s a pretty terrific gift to give young adults.

I say if your family is behind you, go for it. And expect some complaining along the way, because that’s human nature when it comes to change. But live the values that you cherish, be transparent and connected to your family in the transition, and never ever stop being thankful for those who love you enough to let you pursue your dreams. They are rare indeed, and you’re a lucky woman to have them.


In my day job, I’m the Head of Products for Improved Experience, where we help employers use feedback to measure and manage quality in hiring and retention. Learn more about us here.

Do you have a question you'd like answered in this weekly forum? Drop me a line!

Views: 105

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion


I'm sure you have already done so, but connect with the spouse and kids.....involve them in the decision making process, so that whatever the outcome, the responsibility is shared. Ultimately, you have to do what is best for you first. If you are fulfilled, then the rest will come. Greg Inguagiato.

Reply to Discussion



All the recruiting news you see here, delivered straight to your inbox.

Just enter your e-mail address below


RecruitingBlogs on Twitter

© 2023   All Rights Reserved   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Privacy Policy  |  Terms of Service