Comment

Comment by Steve Levy on February 5, 2009 at 9:48am

There you Debbie; c'mon group, how about a few yucks???

Comment by Debbie on February 5, 2009 at 9:41am

Whether you are a student looking for that first time or summer job or a long time veteran looking for a change of pace, this JOB SEARCH JARGON should help you get on your way...

COMPETITIVE SALARY:
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

FLEXIBLE HOURS:
Work 55 hours; get paid for 37.5.

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want you to do.

ABILITY TO HANDLE A HEAVY WORKLOAD:
You whine, you're fired.

CAREER-MINDED:
We expect that you will want to flip hamburgers until you are 70.

SELF-MOTIVATED:
Management won't answer questions

SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:
Some time each night and some time each weekend

DUTIES WILL VARY:
Anyone in the office can boss you around.

COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT:
We have a lot of turnover.

SALES POSITION REQUIRING MOTIVATED SELF-STARTER:
We're not going to supply you with leads; there's no base salary; you'll wait 30 days for your first commission check.

CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

SOME PUBLIC RELATIONS REQUIRED:
If we're in trouble, you'll go on TV and get us out of it.

SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

Comment by Debbie on February 3, 2009 at 4:04pm

Just read the joke by Sal Petrara - loved it! =)

Comment by Slouch on January 7, 2009 at 12:01pm

if you want something funny and sometimes outrageous, the recruiting animal is giving his yearly awards in about 3 minutes here

Comment by Stephen on January 7, 2009 at 12:00pm

Good idea Steve. Thanks for the invite.

PS. dont get me started on chuck norris jokes...i will lose my productivity here ;)

Comment by Susan Kang Nam on January 6, 2009 at 7:00pm

Love it!

~Pink olive martini drinker ;P

Comment by Ben Gotkin on January 6, 2009 at 4:33pm

Not recruiting-related humor, but just found this from a post that our old friend Dave Lefkow put up on Facebook. Steve - I thought you would appreciate this at the very least.

Chuck Norris humor:
"When Chuck Norris exercises, the machine gets stronger."
"Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul."

more at http://www.chucknorrisfactoids.com/

Comment by Salvatore Petrara, CPC on January 6, 2009 at 2:03pm

Hi Folks, This was sent to me sometime ago, it is a tad long but cute...

One day while walking down the street, a highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.

“Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we’ve never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far and we’re not really sure what to do with you.”

“No problem, just let me in,” said the woman.

“Well, I’d like to, but I have higher orders. What we’re going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in.”

“Actually, I think I’ve made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven”, said the woman
“Sorry, we have rules…”

And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell. The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner.



She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.

The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her.

“Now it’s time to spend a day in heaven,” he said. So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her.
“So, you’ve spent a day in hell and you’ve spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity,”

The woman paused for a second and then replied, “Well, I never thought I’d say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell.”
So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell. When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.

The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.
“I don’t understand,” stammered the woman, “yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable.”

The Devil looked at her smiled and said…….. ……… …..

“Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you’re an Employee..”
THIS IS WHAT WE CALL H.R. Management

Comment by Steve Levy on January 6, 2009 at 1:30pm

Incidentally, feel free to make fun of Recruiting Animal.

Comment by Frank Scarpelli on January 6, 2009 at 1:23pm

Good idea, Steve. Should be interesting.

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• …
• 8
• 9
• 10
• 11
• 12
• Next ›
• Page