I read somewhere recently that whilst as children we soak up information like a sponge, by adulthood many of us only listen with 25% of our attention. And then, assuming we haven’t written anything down, we go on to forget half of what we heard. Pretty shocking statistics if you’re someone who is client facing wouldn’t you say?

Here’s how, even though I didn't realise it at the time, I learned to shut up and listen.

At the start of my career I got a job working in the advertising department of a well-known national newspaper. My job, as a ‘Tele-Ad Receptionist’, to give it its full title, was to take calls from customers across each one of the newspaper's advertising classifications. That meant everything from recruitment to motors to travel to property and back again. It even included the personal column and the births, marriages and deaths section.

“Great”, I hear you cry. “But why is he boring us with the story”?

I’ll tell you.

That last category, Births, Marriages and Deaths, may sound a bit dull, but it recently dawned on me that an incident that happened one day whilst taking copy over the phone over twenty years ago actually taught me one of the most important lessons in business there is. And that is - knowing when to shut up and listen.

During my time there, I often took calls from the recently bereaved, phoning up to place an announcement about their dear departed loved one. Tough as it was hearing them sob their hearts out, you got used to pausing, assuring them that it was OK to cry and telling them they should take their time, sometimes even offering to phone them back. It was the same for the ‘in memoriams’ – the announcements acknowledging an anniversary of a death. Many people still shed tears even years after their loss when reading their messages out over the phone, but again, as sad as it was, you just had to deal with it as sensitively yet professionally as possible.

Where I nearly slipped up however, was the day someone phoned through a birth announcement.

Whenever we hear news of a birth it’s only natural to say ‘congratulations’, but on this particular day, I was glad that I used all of my listening skills, and not just 25% of them.

The man on the other end of the phone started to read out his announcement (I’ve changed the details but here’s how it would have read were it today) “Smith. On 23rd February 2010 to John and Jane, at the local hospital, Anytown, a baby boy, Paul”.

Now, hands up, who wouldn’t be tempted to say ‘congratulations’ at that point? However, after a brief pause, presumably whilst he summoned up the courage to utter the words, he then added “…who sadly died 3 hours later”.

OK, it does perhaps raise the question of why he wanted to announce that. Maybe he felt it would be easier for people to read about it rather than him have to go through the whole story time after time over the phone or in person. I don’t know. What I do know is that by listening rather than assuming and than instinctively reacting, I saved myself a great deal of embarrassment.

The moment has stuck with me ever since, not least as the man in question was, and still is, to a lesser extent, in the public eye. It also dawned on me years later that that job gave me a skill I don’t even realise I am using half the time, and that is the ability to listen attentively, not selectively. It taught me a vital lesson that has stayed with me  - never  assume you know it all or take anything for granted.

So, the next time you’re on the way to a client meeting, ask yourself, when it comes to business, are you focussed? Are you truly making the most of your listening skills?  If not, it might not be life and death, but you could just get caught out one day.

In short, hone your listening skills and they will look after you for your whole career.