art gearing up with lists of things that are going to get done ...early...right, early. Now, being a night person my idea of early is to stroll into the office at 10:30 A.M. put my head down, grab the phone, hit email and not look up until about 7:30 P. M. Then it's off to the horse barn for an hour or two and back to work in my home office until 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning. No alarm clocks that function at my house.
So the queen decided to turn over a new leaf and get to the office no later than 9:00. Make it an organized year. Good plan, great plan in fact. Get in bed early and forego watching reruns of "Numbers" at 3:00 A.M. Figure out my Monday morning costume so we (that's the royal "We") don't change clothes three times and shoes four or five before launching the recruiting blitz. Call the dentist, call the farrier, check bank balances, pay bills, Focus, update, give a damn,source, present and start the year off like rolling thunder. Ole! Charge! Let's hit it and get it! Uh Huh. Great Plans in my world always seem to derail before they can bloom, much less come to fruition.
Here's how it really went on my first day back for second semester.
As i switched off the light around midnight, the phone rang. A friend had just decided that Christmas being over she would drop it on her spouse that she was filing for divorce first thing in the morning. (That would be my super Monday morning only a few hours away) Albeit this plan had been in the works for months, emotion was running wild with logic far in the backstretch.
What i said, "You are pretty emotional, if you are not sure about this you can always give it some more thought before you take action."
What i wanted to say, " Gawddamnit, it's midnight, i'm turning over a new leaf this year, how about you take a chill pill and we'll talk when the sun comes up. You just have the predawn crazies."
That one put on hold i settled in for serious sleep to prepare for the turning of the new leaf.
Wrong. Twenty minutes into dozing the Great Pyr and the Standard Poodle decided that staying up all night as we normally do with me at the computer and reruns of "Numbers going they would have a serious disagreement over a chew bone.
What i said, " STOP, you guys are pretty emotional, how about you both take a chill pill get in your crates and let's not take anymore action."
What i wanted to say, "Gawddammit, it's 1:00 in the morning if you don't stop it both of you are going outside in the cold till spring. Your pal here is turning over a new leaf .
Back to pillows..ring, ring. My nutty next door neighbor is screaming that his smoke alarm is going off and he wants to know if my townhouse is full of smoke.
What i said: "No it's your smoke alarm that is going off not mine." "You are pretty emotional just think a minute." "Did you turn on the auto clean on your oven again and forget that you turned it on?" "Well turn the thing off, open the doors and turn off the smoke alarm before you take any further action.
What i wanted to say: "Gawddammit, it's 2:00 in the morning you lunatic, you do this four or five times a year and always call me. If God had wanted me to be a firefighter he would given me a big red hat and and an axe." "I am turning over a new leaf " So take a chill pill and i'll see if i can escape before you catch me to tell me about it when the sun comes up.
So it was "Numbers" until 4:30, coffee maker blew a fuse, got dressed in the dark, even glued on false eyelashes with a flashlight and off to the office. New leaf intact i started the administrivia of bills and banking to be ready to CHARGE when everybody else got to the office.
What followed was about four early phone calls from clients and 10 or so from candidates who had decided they were turning over new leaves themselves and i was the first victim on their collective lists. It was not yet 8:30 A.M. much less my normal late morning before i answer the phone time.
What i said: "I hate to hear that you... lost or going to lose/fire a top employee/ got fired or quit/going to quit your, job. Send me your job description/resume and let's see what we can do to get the ball rolling. You are pretty emotional , don't take any action yet. let's talk after i get the paperwork."
What i wanted to say: "Gawddammmmitt, i am trying to turn over a new leaf here, i am never in the office this early and now i damn well know why. All you loonies must have real light in your houses, no friends or neighbors or dogs that keep you up all night. I bet you don't have on one black shoe and one brown shoe and i bet your right eyelash is not hanging at half mast so you look like you have either been on a ten day drunk or you went to a party as a pirate and forgot to take off the makeup. I am going to take a chill pill, go home, change shoes, glue my eyelash back on or take the other one off and start all over now that the sun has come up. CHARGE will have to be something that happens on my credit card today cause it's after noon and no leaves have been turned over, just piled up in a pile.
So much for turning over a new leaf. I am going in at 10:30 in the morning, i am going to enjoy the 3:00 AM reruns of "Numbers". Dogs are more fun to play with at night, they sleep all day. I will decide what i am going to wear tomorrow when it falls out of my closet, so what if i change shoes five times. 86 on the eyelashes. I can get the bills paid before they turn everything off. Who needs lists. Let's just roll with it as it comes.
God made me an independent recruiter so i can talk to upset people all night and all day and enjoy solving problems. What's a chew bone or two amongst dogs, friends, neighbors, candidates and clients. If God had meant for me to go to bed and get up with the chickens he would never have invented the electric light bulb.
HOW WAS YOUR FIRST DAY BACK INTO THE ORGANIZED WORLD WE CALL EXECUTIVE RECRUITING?????