Recruiting is far more than closing a job order that fills someone's ego and wallet; it is more than getting that hiring manager off your back. Recruiters are in a unique space that should enable them to experience and mold their services based upon the political, economic, social and technological issues, challenges, products and services of the day. Should
because so many still recruit to fill an order and neglect the lower iceberg of factors impact their craft.
These days, recruiting is all about the economy.
Given this, here are some suggestions
from Thomas Cooley
of Forbes for stimulating the economy; notice how many of these are focused on creating employment:
No Adult Left Behind.
Make sure all adults are as tech savvy as their children. This will:
a. Decrease the costs of family therapy
b. Stimulate retail sales by increasing the demand for BlackBerrys, cellphones, X-Boxes, Wii, Guitar Hero and the like
c. Simplify and shorten all works of fiction by adopting text-messaging English spellings
Note from Steve: Twitter away!!!!
Preach for America.
Unemployed bankers will be hired at minimum wage to preach in churches and temples about the virtues of unfettered capitalism and take up the collections. This will:
a. Keep them off the streets and out of the pool halls.
Note from Steve: And away from mortgages.
b. Restart financial markets as they get congregations to start investing the collection in new high-yield instruments and auction-rate securities.
c. Give Presbyterians, Lutherans and so on access to the Madoff magic.
A Manhattan Project to Create Weapons of Mass Obstruction.
I have in mind excavating large holes in the middle of major intersections throughout the country and hiring unemployed mortgage brokers to wear hard hats and vests to stand around them, staring in. A nice urban touch is to have them belch steam (the holes, not the brokers). This will:
a. Create jobs and stimulate spending
b. Snarl traffic to the point that people will leave their SUV's at home and dabble in public transportation.
Note from Steve: Except in places like metro New York where the MTA is and always will be a nightmare
Parades for Progress.
Modeled after the Doo Dah Parade this will be a permanent parade corps of military bands, precision lawnmower marching teams (unemployed real estate agents), precision pin-striped briefcase marching teams (bankers) and so on. These parades will be held with regularity throughout the U.S. This will:
a. Amaze and delight the citizenry.
b. Generate employment for musicians, bankers and so on.
c. Further snarl traffic and encourage people to use public transportation.
Note from Steve: Have I told you about the number of land yachts owned by people here on Lawn Guyland?
Bailout Bake sales.
This program will train former auto executives and autoworkers to bake cookies and pastries and sell them door to door. Profits will go to fund the bailout. This will:
a. Get them out of their jets and SUVs and on their feet.
b. Teach them that they have to produce something appealing to make a sale.
c. Develop the marketing skills that every girl scout has mastered.
Note from Steve: In NY, Gov. Patterson is likely to highly tax these new items as part of his monumentally stupid plan to close the budget gap in New York State
Meals on Medians.
Instead of planting grass and frivolous flowering plants on highway medians and city streets, make every one of them into a fertile vegetable and fruit-growing region. This will:
a. Increase local food supply (as advocated by environmentalists and "locavores")
b. Slow down highway travel, since drivers will want to stop and sample the produce. No need for patrol cars, speeding tickets and all the rest--a strip of pick-your-own produce the length and breadth of the U.S. will take care of all of that.
c. Make the agricultural lobby a truly national one so that subsidizing ethanol will make some kind of sense to someone, somewhere, anywhere.
Note from Steve: There would have to be a plan to hire people to harvest the crops. I'd suggest former politicians; they're accustomed to bending over and taking it from lobbyists so bending over to pick veggies should be easy.
Require every car in America to be green. This will:
a. Keep autoworkers employed painting Hummers and Escalades green, if nothing else.
b. Increase sales of green paint to car manufacturers who can't meet the required specs.
c. Make a gasoline tax much easier sell because at least people will understand the logic behind it.
Note from Steve: I really hate these dumbarse land yachts even if they would be green