if u cn reed this us cn bee a dyamic hed of hr

From one of the Yahoo recruiting groups yesterday; my impression is that if you're a recruiter searching for your head of HR, you really should spell check before sending. Doesn't anyone realize that you only get one chance at a first impression???

[one more thing - these cookie cutter specs do nothing to differentiate the position nor the company]

This is the real description listed under Wanted Dyamic Head of HR. Really. Things that are emboldened were actually offered by the recruiters. Nothing has been changed except for my astute comments - emboldened and in brackets...

We are in the midst of looking for a dynamic leader of HR. I ask that you please respond back to me with any referrals. I have been at NAME for a year and have been overall been extrmeley expressed with the direction and operations of the company. This is the opportunity to take NAME to the next level. Below is the descriptioon and look forward to hearing from those that are interested and qualified!

Vice President of Human Resources for Rapidly Growing HRO Organization

Tackle the challenge of your professional career [your previous work was puppy dog easy compared to this challenge] and become Vice President of Human Resources for a company comprised of 450 HR professionals. NAME, a leading provider [does anyone lag?] of human resources outsourcing and consulting services to small and mid-sized companies nationwide has an opportunity for an accomplished, experienced, and respected [as opposed to unaccomplished, inexperienced, and unrespected] HR leader to take on the task of human capital management, development, and growth throughout the company.

Initiate enduring projects [we only care about starting these; who really cares about finishing?] that will be integrated into the company culture while providing thought leadership in the areas of employee and organizational development and HR best practices.

Join a $100MM+ company that is growing at 35% a year and is profitable [we know we should talk about market potential and projected future growth but it sounds better to say 35% and what head of HR is gonna know about this stuff anyway?].

Interact regularly with and have access to a CEO and board who really appreciate the strategic value HR brings to an organization [but listening to you may be another story].

Imagine an opportunity where my opinion and expertise will not only be heard, but routinely solicited [juicy! No one has listened to me in my previous jobs].

Embrace the prospect of working for a company where NAME, one of the world's leading private equity firms, is a major stakeholder [actually liked this one but would have liked the ad to mention the names of the companies successfully funded and nurtured by NAME].

NAME offers all of this, along with the chance to stamp yourself as an industry expert [so someone who is already an industry expert won't want to work here?] working for an industry leader. Take a seat on our executive team and seize the challenge of working for a dramatically expanding dynamic company where there is significant need for HR leadership [and especially recruiting].

Now celebrating our 20th Anniversary [I see now: NAME, one of the world's leading private equity firms, really has little to do with the financial wellness of the company - mentioning its name was just, ahem, name dropping], thousands of companies throughout the United States and Canada have placed their trust in NAME to help them manage their Human Capital more strategically and cost-effectively. We give our customers the economies of scale they need to access and deploy Fortune 500-caliber payroll, benefits and Human Resource services. NAME has a nationwide presence, an experienced management team [presently sans a head of HR], and belongs to the Inc. Magazine Hall of Fame for being one of the fastest growing, privately-held companies for five consecutive years. We're a mature organization that embraces and rewards both bold strategy and disciplined execution.

As NAME's new VP of HR based in our BLANK headquarters, your mandate will be to provide leadership for and build an exceptional team with the goal of delivering all aspects of world class HR [world class HR means someone's a strategic business partner and the CEO believes people are the firms most important assets] for a rapidly growing technology enabled business services company. Among the projects you will be expected to tackle are: world-class training for our people; hiring and mentoring HR generalists; fostering a unique and motivated professional culture; working closely with the NAME board for succession planning and performance evaluations (through SuccessFactors); management development programs; acquisition readiness frameworks and operational planning; and ongoing HR operations on global basis [I wonder if any of these are presently in place in this mature organization].

Your proven experience managing and overseeing HR for organizations of 500+ people, along with a demonstrated track record of hiring great people [I sure hope the recruiter presses on metrics], will allow you to seamlessly integrate yourself into our environment and get right to work. Organizational development skills, leadership, and executive presence will be crucial to your success as you interface with every piece of our company, and foster new programs and initiatives throughout our business. Take on this unique challenge and help grow an already growing firm to new heights.

I'm out of breath! Where are the performance expectations????

The issue I have here is obviously not with the recruiter nor with the company but with the general group of recruiters and companies who always seem to forget about the power of branding. Descriptions and websites that include the sames phrases as others are killing brand differentiation; write about what makes you unique and stop trying to be something to everyone...

Sure hope I didn't make a spelling error here!

Views: 86

Comment by Charles Haines on October 23, 2008 at 11:08am
I may be way off here, however my gut tells me that this is an HRO outsourcing company based in India, which would explain the poor spelling, grammar and syntax. No excuse, but probable cause.
Comment by Jennifer Berry on October 23, 2008 at 11:47am
This is hillarious, and it brings up an interesting point. I was at a Corporate Recruiters Roundtable the other day. Listening to F500 & local-yokel HR types gripe and discuss the pro's and con's of their favorite ATS's, HRIS, and vendor management systems.

Why can't HR Professionals speak like real human beings?
Why do they constantly try to buy software so they don't have to interact with the public?
Don't they know everything really revolves around relationships (you know connections between actual living beings).

It's just really irritating.
But then again, I ascribe to the Jim Rome school of public speech. So I have a low tolerance level for auditory fluff and the dim witted, insipid personalities who use it.

Keeping it real in KC ;)
Comment by Steve Levy on October 23, 2008 at 1:09pm
Charles...just a good old American firm with a good old American recruiter who is likely to be detail oriented.

Jennifer...Why can't HR Professionals speak like real human beings? Many do; many are afflicted with SBP disease - strategic business partner disease. I just think that in general recruiting has lost track of its true purpose. Time to keep it real Dog!

Great comments C & J
Comment by Dennis Smith on October 23, 2008 at 11:59pm
This is all true...was with Steve when he read it out loud to me (while taking the train in to NYC)!

I'm with you, Steve.......let's be 'real.'
Comment by Sally Raade on October 25, 2008 at 9:59pm
Great Blog....

Wow.... my eyes were tired just reading the job description and my mind started to dose off.....
Perhaps I should have said that my mind was starting to get tired and my eyes were closing.
I don't know if the two sentences said the same thing.
Comment by Steve Levy on October 27, 2008 at 8:22am
Realize that the purpose of this post was NOT to make fun of the recruiter who originally posted this call for assistance in sourcing a head of HR. I can assure you too that I didn't want to tire Sally.

It's time these heinous job descriptions that use lots of words become a thing of the past; does anyone think people become excited by a description that says the person must have exceptional organizational and communication skills and be a strategic business partner?

Is anyone really listening???


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