Actually, I won’t be returning your crappy cold call voice mail. Here’s why.

Fortunately I don’t get these very often… I’m one of a handful of recruiters and rather new to my company, so the vultures haven’t caught up with me yet. However – earlier this week I had FOUR horrible voicemails in a row, from FOUR awful sales people. Three agencies and a job board. It went a little something like this –

“Hi Amy, this is (first name only) with (unintelligible company name). I’m calling today to introduce you to my company. We are the (premier/best/top/only) provider of (IT/Staffing/Placement/Advertising) solutions in your area and I’d like to schedule a time to (buy you coffee/meet with you/tell you all about me).

Please give me a call back at (phone number)and let me know when would be a good time to meet. Thanks!”

Who would call this person back?

So much is wrong with this. First of all, I don’t know who you are. I don’t know who your company is. I probably couldn’t write fast enough to jot down your phone number even if I wanted to call you back. (Sometimes I’m a masochist that way.)

Secondly, you have given me no indication that you even know who I am, what I want, or how you can solve my problem. Do you know what my problem is? Do you know if I even HAVE a problem?

So what do I WANT to hear?

“Hi Amy, it’s (First Name, Last Name) calling. I am a (Title, as long as it’s not a stupid one) with (Company Name). My phone number is _______. I (found you on LinkedIn/got your name from [Name]/read your amazing blog at RBC) and found out that your company (has over 100 current openings/will double revenue in the next 3 years/is the 3^rd largest IT reseller in the US). Very impressive! I’d like to talk with you about your recruiting efforts, what’s working and what’s not, and see if (my relevant product/service) might be able to boost what you’re already doing. If nothing else I’m prepared to bribe you with free (coffee/chair massage/babysitting). Again it’s (name) at (phone number). Have a great day!”

Ok, I’m kidding about the bribery part. Well, not really. See, it’s funny. I like funny people. If someone can’t laugh at themselves, they probably won’t be laughing along with me at this crazy business. So while that's not the greatest voicemail script ever concieved, it beats the pants of what I've been subjected to lately.

And if the call went like –

“Hi Amy, (name) with (company). Heard you lost your (job title) recently. Not sure if you’re the person trying to replace him, but I know a guy who’s in a similar role right now over at (your competitor). He’s not looking right now but I could sure put some feelers out for you. What do you think? Give me a call at (phone number)."

Now if I got THAT call, I would not believe you but I’d be intrigued enough (and admire your chutzpah) that I would probably call you back.

Comment by Amy Ala Miller on August 19, 2011 at 6:32pm: My old boss used to say "My name is Scott with X Company. I'd like to talk to you about X - may I continue?"

9 times out of 10, the answer was YES

Comment by Valentino Martinez on August 21, 2011 at 3:02am: Amy,

Actually, by not returning those bothersome phone calls you may be motivating their mounting growth and persistence.

The calls you’re getting are standard fair in any industry—coming from entities who will make those calls, and send those emails, ‘till hell freezes over. So you’re dealing with people who are simply doing, or attempting to do, their job. Yes, it’s you’re right to be dismissive of people who stumble in their sloppy attempt to reach you. And some are insensitive—the world seems to be full of that these days. But taking those calls and politely turning them off may be a way to solve the problem. Otherwise they will continue to attempt to reach you, which is the situation that motivated this rant in the first place.

Comment by Amy Ala Miller on August 21, 2011 at 11:41am: @Valentino, interesting, since I actually take more of those calls then I miss. My response is ALWAYS the same - here's my e-mail address, please do some research into our company, find out what our challenges are from YOUR perspective and how whatever you're offering can help. I'm also interested in how my competitors have benefited from your particular product/service.

You know how many follow up responses I've received? ONE. I've had this conversation at least 20 times in 2 months and I've received ONE e-mail, which by the way was all about this guy and his firm, not a darn thing about me and my company.

The attempt to reach me is not the problem. The absolutely zero value nonsense they're verbally vomiting all over me is the problem. Hopefully some junior recruiter trying to figure out the best way to earn business will learn a little something about what not to do from my rant. :)

Comment by Jay Liebowitz on August 21, 2011 at 8:50pm: Amy....I can empathise with your thoughts and hole heartedly agree with what you are saying. I am an Internal Recruiter and our organisation has a PSA for when we are unable to find the right candidate. I still find it amazing that with a PSA that states no cold calling or blind submission of candidates, the amount of recruiters who do not read and understand the rules of the PSA and call me. You have a responsibility as a recruiter to understand your clients and the parameters that you are allowed/not allowed to work within. Learn them, adhere to them and DO NOT create your own rules.
You catch more flies with honey!

Comment by Jody Schwartz on August 22, 2011 at 1:49pm: This was all very helpful! Thanks will use all this advice for my next cold call.

Comment by Margaret Ryan on August 23, 2011 at 11:10am: Can cold calling be fun? Of course it can if you have a sense of humor :) good example of a learning blog - thanks Amy

Comment by Timothy Yandel on August 23, 2011 at 1:22pm: Being a TPR for the past seven years I think the most important thing you're saying here is to do your research. The 1st voicemail example is tired and lazy, which isn't going to separate yourself from the competition at all. The 2nd illustrates the importance of effort, which in recruiting says everything on your level of service. If you don't take the time to understand a potential client who could ultimately PAY you, what level of attention do you pay toward candidates?

Good topic though! With all the information out there, it's very easy to look up someone's info before you call them. The fact that some don't even do that is a testament to their abilities.

Comment by Amy Ala Miller on August 23, 2011 at 2:17pm: @Timothy - exactly my point. :) Here's a call that got returned -

"Hi Amy, this is (name) with (company). I'm searching for a (title, something recruiting related) and was hoping you could help me out with a referral." There was a pause, a big sigh and then "ok, truth is I found you on linkedin and I'm trying to recruit you. Call me back at (phone number) if we can talk."

I laughed pretty hard and called back right away... gave him some referrals and we're still friends.

Comment by Matt Jones on August 23, 2011 at 3:38pm: Great post! My technique has to do with signing on voicemail to mix it up a little. Typically I find leaving a voicemail never elicits a response so after I left 5 or so messages for you then I'll bust out a tune or rhyme to loosen up the mood a little. I take my job seriously but I only want to work with clients who like to have fun and I have found plenty who can't ever seem to crack a smile or laugh. Like staffing is that serious...Cracking the door is 3/4 of the deal in our business. If you like me then you'll buy from me hopefully.

Comment by Margaret Ryan on August 23, 2011 at 3:54pm: If I sang, I would create laughter and a resounding message "don't give up your day job".

Being authentic is #1 in my life, and I believe it is true big time when talking brands and sales of all kinds.

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