Dawning of the Cr@#!*plication (Part 2)

(As frustration morphs into Monthy Python-esque borderline lunacy - our frustrated Human Resources professional has come up with some solutions. A user tax shall we say on Job Boards, a national effort amongst Human Resources professional to coordinate? Sounds ok, but when frustration bubbles over - sometimes you gotta laugh)

In addition to finding clever ways to chastise the unqualified applicant, I propose we begin to hold the job boards responsible for providing a portal for this time-wasting madness. Under this model, we’d institute a process to bill the job boards X dollars for each application they allow through that doesn’t meet the requisite qualifications. I don’t ever expect to see a real check, but give me credits toward future postings as a consolation for my frustration and loss of sanity/faith in the inherently good-nature of the human race. If they’re going to promote their website as the place to find qualified applicants, there needs to be some repercussion for not delivering the product as advertised.

I’d like to craft a poignant response that points out that an applicant is utterly unqualified and should be more selective in their applications in the future. Such a response would need to be professional and the condescending sarcasm must be well-veiled and kept at a minimum so as to not negatively reflect on my organization. The ‘counselor’ in me wants to educate applicants that the shotgun approach is not in their best interest. The ‘other part of me that I’m less proud of’ wants to let them know that they’ve wasted my time and their own, and to not apply again unless they are qualified. That same “Catbert, evil-HR person” would love to see a national registry of time-wasting-applicants that our state-of-the-art applicant tracking systems would automatically cross reference and reject upon application.

I’m interested in what others have done to try to return order to the application process and any “canned” applicant communications you may have in place for such applicants. Absent that, please forward me the link for the “why-did-you-bother-applying registry”.

Please feel free to post your comments below.

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Comment by Sandra McCartt on June 22, 2010 at 3:09pm: Thank you for an impressive resume. Unfortunately the requirements for this position as posted are firm so your background is not a fit. Sorry.

Comment by Matt J Peter on June 23, 2010 at 9:42am: Thank for the read Sandra - I know if a cordial reply was all each resume required for my client - he'd have never reached his fever-pitch. I think his documentation and other back-end requirements were what ultimately drove him over the edge!

Comment by Gina Cleo Bloome on June 23, 2010 at 10:51am: The reality is that many people have a view of their abilities which is totally disconnected from reality. If you are watching this season's Hell's Kitchen, Scott kept telling everyone that he was a leader and the best cook on the show. Except he never once put out a dish that passed muster and he had an excuse for everything including his blaming his team mates for bringing him down as he exited the show. Despite all evidence to the contrary, I bet he still thinks he is the most qualified contestant and would tell anyone in shouting distance what a mistake Ramsey made in cutting him.

If people are that clueless on in the glare of national TV, then why would we expect them to be more self assessing in the isolation of the internet?

I had the same people at my last job apply to 50 jobs from Claims Rep to VP Marketing. The best way to block them is to create knock out questions and then if they lie, send them a note saying politely that the questions are not there for their amusement and ethics and honesty are highly valued at our company so perhaps they may rethink applying in future.

Comment by Paul Hanchett on June 23, 2010 at 10:54am: I think most job postings are poorly designed; many read like shopping lists that include the kitchen sink. In marketing we are taught to sell the benefit and to support our claim by identifying the product features. Why not write a job description focusing on the benefit sought? Then look for the resumes that are responsive to the sought benefit, and that volunteer the skills (features) that you already know support the sought benefit?

This would be a fair way to make it the applicant's responsibility to connect their experience to your need. The resulting resumes should be a lot more interesting to read, and I promise there will be fewer of them-- applicants will filter themselves out, unless they truly feel qualified.

The down side is that this requires a level of honesty and openness that I have rarely seen in corporations. It also requires some real effort on the part of HR and the hiring manager to define the sought benefit.

As another plus, it stops the endless proliferation of "just in case" requirements that result in seeking people that cannot be found because the skill sets don't exist in combination. (In this market, a position that stays open very long should become suspect-- Either the requirements are wrong, or you need to plan for some training!)

Comment by Kathryn Carlson on June 23, 2010 at 11:23am: Don't accept resumes as the first step in application process- have each applicant complete your company's online employment application which includes specific screening questions and a basic assessment testing- screen out unqualified applicants before the recruiter even has to take the first look. Plus at the end the online application process the applicant will receive a system generated email if they don't make it through.

Comment by Will Branning on June 23, 2010 at 12:44pm: Thanks for your interest in this position.

I don't see a match for this position since the position requires ________ experience. I will let you know if I identify another opportunity that matches your background better.

Comment by Matt J Peter on June 25, 2010 at 3:53pm: Thanks everyone for all the feedback - it's really encouraging as a new member here. You've all got interesting perspectives, each with a foot in your own specialties. I look forward to interacting with your more in the future.

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