This was written "in jest" by a colleague. We didn't send it... We wont send it... but perhap we should??

Please Note: Names have been "redacted" to protect the innocent (and not so innocent).

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Dear Mr Recruiting Manager,

I hope this email finds you well.  I would like the express my thanks that you have included us as an agency to help you with the recruitment for the XXXXX vacancies.

The purpose of this email is to reference a few points from our conversations over the last few days. 

• I appreciate you are a busy man, and would rather not have been “inundated with CVs” (a direct quote from you) from agencies.  But this is what will happen if you go to ever agency under the sun; its simple really, the more agencies you go to, the more candidates get spoken to, the more CVs submitted, the more time spent out of your busy day sifting CVs and conducting interviews with people who are no good.  In the future, be selective and use agencies for instance who might have an existing relationship with the business or who are already on the PSL.

• As far as I know X-Men is nothing other than a cartoon/comic book and the power to read minds has not yet become part of mine, or any individual’s, capabilities.  On that basis if you do want to use an agency (such as myself) then some form of communication is always helpful.  I have sent you a number of CVs and I have not had any feedback, not even an iota.  Providing your thoughts on these to me – verbally and not through the power of telepathy – would assist me in narrowing down candidates more aligned to what it is you are looking for

• XXXX, a candidate who you initially rejected but decided to interview having spent a few minutes to discuss his credentials and my rationale behind sending him, is very active on the market place.  Delaying your decision to either reject him or put him through to a 2^nd stage interview until you have completed all the other interviews does no one any good.  Put yourself in his shoes – being made aware of the situation would help everybody involved.

• On the basis that you interviewed the above candidate (you listened to why I thought he would make a good XXXXX, providing more depth to his application rather than just what was on his CV) I am keen to recommend that you also interview XXX.  I appreciate CVs are always going to be an easy way to select candidates – they are after all the initial way to measure a candidate’s suitability – but any decent recruitment agency will know more about the candidate than comes across on paper.  And remember, CVs can only indicate a certain level of skills and experience, yet when it comes to a face-to-face interview you can really explore what they can offer the business and make a better judgement.  Don’t simply reject someone on the basis of their CV as XXX is an excellent candidate who would be able to do an amazing job

Help ME.. Help ME help YOU... Please!

I look forward to hearing from you.