I have become quite the regular at Home Depot over the last two weeks. I am an expert at their return and exchange policy, in addition to navigating a store with seemingly no rhyme or reason. I have been in "moving" mode for several weeks now. This Saturday marks the final move day. Thank goodness! Not sure I nor my checkbook can take much more of the endless stream of cash that is required when you seek to alter your life by relocating.

My commute and the time it requires me to be away from home and family has taken just about enough from me; the madness has to stop. And well, I'm stopping it. We, my children and I, have leased a home one and a quarter hours closer to the office where I work, giving me twelve and a half hours more each week. Needless to say, I cannot wait. Of course, the move is bittersweet, for several reasons... (1) I have been in my home for twelve years, (2) my thirteen and fifteen year olds do not remember or know any other home, (3) they have never changed schools - (4) they will miss all their friends. (5) I hate moving - (6) too much work and (7) too much stuff. (8) Changing doctors is horrific - this includes dentists, eye doctors, pizza place, dog groomer, barber, etc... (9)There isn't a Del Taco within five miles of my new place - bummer. (10) There are so many memories in my home that I am not sure any more can be packed in - must be time to move one.

The upside: our new home has an incredible ocean view. Life will significantly improve - my son will get to play a sport and my daughter will get those piano lessons she has been wanting. I will get back into a daily exercise routine - I will actually have the time. Change is good - I have had too much in this place for too long, time to go lean. We have the packing and gradually moving part down pat. Now, it is just time to just get it done.

While fear can sometimes be immobilizing, the low-grade panic I am currently feeling is good, it is exhilarating. I am ready for this change and for having some sort of real life, especially during the work week. Been a zombie for several years now. Time to wake up and move on.

Half of my stuff is waiting for me there, the other half will be packed up in one trip and the dust will be all that is left behind. The sense of urgency I was feeling is slowly being eradicated. When I walk into a Home Depot now, it is with purpose and intent, not just to buy a few seedlings. 

At least,that's what I meant to go in for.


by rayannthorn

*this isn't to say that I do not love working, of course I do.  This is to say that my life will have life.


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