to Horton Plaza, parking is free in the Horton plaza structure for 3 hours and self validation is now available without purchase . Please RSVP for this event by Monday May 18th email@example.com…
n has gracefully agreed to add both a white and a red wine by the glass to the menu for $5.50 just for our group. Dobsons is located at 956 Broadway CircleSan Diego, CA 92101Directly adjacent to Horton Plaza, parking is free in the Horton plaza structure for 3 hours and self validation is now available without purchase . Please RSVP for this event by Monday April firstname.lastname@example.org…
in your vehicles have the required permit to carry a concealed weapon. For those of you who have rifles and shot guns on the gun rack in your truck, those are considered firearms not part of your culture so will be covered by this memo. Due to our insurance provider raising our rates you will no longer be able to park your car on the employee lot if you have a firearm in your vehicle. Please park on the street in the zone designated "Right to Bear Arms Zone". Please notify HR if you will be parking in the RTBAZ in order that we may reassign your company parking space to those who do not carry a firearm in your vehicle.
Tuesday Memo to all Employees: We have 574 spaces available in the employee parking lot. Please let us know if you have been parking on the street and wish to have assigned parking on the company lot. Yes Mildred, you having been here 32 years may have the one closest to the front door.
Wednesday Memo to All Employees: We have 575 spaces available in the employee parking lot. Mildred has decided that is is safer on the street where all the other employees are parking.
Thursday Memo to All Employees: The city has agreed to extend both the streets on the East Side and the West Side of the building. We have agreed to the increase in the property tax rate to cover the cost of extending both streets. The city has also agreed to allow employees to park in the vacant lot on the South side of the building. The company is contracting for sidewalks to be built from the streets and the vacant lot to all doors to the building with special ramps to comply with any disabilities and or wheel chair access. Additional lighting will also be added for security from the street. If anyone has any information or a description of the person or persons who mugged Mildred in the deserted employee parking lot last night please contact HR. We have added security patrols in the employee parking lot to insure the safety of anyone in that deserted area. Please be vigilant when crossing the lot on the way to the street. Bubba and Billy Bob have agreed to work overtime. They will remain in their trucks on the street until after 10:00 P.M.
Friday Memo to All Employees: Due to the high number of transients and other strange personages hanging out and parking on the empty employee lot without permission the company feels it will be in the best interest of all employees to cover the increased cost of insurance so that any of you who have firearms in your vehicles will no longer have to park on the street.
To defrey some of the increased cost of extending the streets, additional street lighting, sidewalks and the increase in insurance cost, Billy Bob , Bubba, Jake and several of the other guys in the warehouse have agreed to organize a gun show in the deserted parking lot in front of the building on Sat. Mildred and the girls in A/P will handle refreshments during the show at company expense. We hope all employees will enjoy the use of the lot as it has been empty for so long. Visitors who carry a firearm in their vehicle will no longer have to park two blocks down the street and may now park in the visitor parking. Sandra will once again be able to use her pellet gun that looks exactly like a P-38 to ping the birds in the trees on the parking lot so they do not poop on your vehicles. Please park in your previously assigned places on the employee lot on Monday.
We know you have always kept your firearms locked in your vehicles which is probably why we have never had any workplace violence. Have you ever seen Bubba shoot? Most of us have. The Right to Bear Arms does not stop 2 feet outside the company lot. Thank you for being responsible gun owners. Now Bubba will not have to drive 40 miles home to pick up his 30-06 before he goes two blocks from work to the gun range.
Thank you, and welcome back to life as we know it in West Texas