Monday Recruiters

Funny Stories for Monday floating around.

Towards the end of a job interview, the recruiter asked a young engineer fresh out of an Ivy League school, "And what starting salary were you looking for?" The Engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The recruiter said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, a company matching retirement fund for 50 percent of your salary, and a company car leased every 2 years -- say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?" And the recruiter replied, "Yeah, but you started it."

If the recruiter has a hard time deciding where the candidate fits in the company, here's some help;

The following guidelines shall be used when hiring new employees. Take the prospective employees you are trying to place and put them in a room with only a table and two chairs. Leave them alone for two hours, without any instruction. At the end of that time, go back and see what they are doing.

If they have taken the table apart in that time, put them in Engineering.
If they are counting the butts in the ashtray, assign them to Finance.
If they are screaming and waving their arms, send them off to Manufacturing.
If they are talking to the chairs, Human Resources Dept is a good spot for them.
If they are sleeping, they are Management material.
If they are writing up the experience, send them to Tech Pubs.
If they don't even look up when you enter the room, assign them to Security.
If they try to tell you it's not as bad as it looks, send them to Marketing.
And if they have left early, put them in Sales.

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Comment by Maya Walker on March 12, 2008 at 5:09am: Pretty funny, Sally!

Comment by Tracy Anthony on June 20, 2008 at 11:34am: Sally - I love your humor! thanks for adding a laugh on a very busy Friday!
All the Best ~
Tracy

Comment by Catia Yun on July 2, 2008 at 1:42pm: Hi Sally - I guess the second version goes like this:

Determine the right fit -

Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window. Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze the situation.

If they are counting the bricks.

Put them in the accounts department.

If they are recounting them.

Put them in auditing.

If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks.

Put them in engineering.

If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order.

Put them in planning!!

If they are throwing the bricks at each other.

Put them in operations.

If they are sleeping.

Put them in reception

If they have broken the bricks into pieces.

Put them in information technology.

If they are sitting idle.

Put them in human resources.

If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved.

Put them in sales.

If they have already left for the day.

Put them in marketing.

If they are staring out of the window.

Put them on strategic planning.

And then last but not the least.

If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved.

Congratulate them and put them in top management.