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Womanity

The Shattered Mirror of Unforgiveness

I was laid off a few weeks ago but am just blogging about it now. I guess I had to let it all sink in and have the seething feeling simmer away.

“We’re having cash flow problems,” She said. “She” being in " " as an off-handed way to refer to the owner of the company without using her name. Like Elizabeth Edwards, the betrayed wife of John Edwards, failed vice-presidential candidate, I don’t feel like using the business owner’s name. Not for the purpose of protecting her identity… Oh, no…

When Oprah interviewed Mrs. Edwards, her condition for appearing on the show was that Rielle Hunter’s name, John Edwards’ other woman, would not be spoken on air. I get that. Even though Mrs. Edwards’ higher self projects forgiveness and resilience, there’s that human part of her that rears its imperfect self and refuses to acknowledge the existence of the woman that brought shame, pain and anguish to her seemingly ideal marriage.

I was pissed to get the news of my lay off, quite understandably.

But more pissed because just the day before I had made a successful presentation to a potential big client, a client that would have been a rich source of referrals for her private duty in-home health care company for seniors. This client would have been unreachable and inaccessible to “Her." She is incapable of articulating her business services in grammatically correct English. Can you feel my derision?

I was pissed to get laid-off yet again, twice within the past year. I can’t take any more of this. I’ve gone through enough already.

I was even more pissed because the week before I did a bang-up job giving a PowerPoint presentation to the Case Management department of a huge Napa hospital, a task she could never have accomplished on her own because of her deathly fear of public speaking. Couple that fear with her cringe-inciting English, why-a, that would have killed any future business referrals, for sure. Am I oozing bitterness?

Ghandi said that and he was right. Why do I think that pointing out the shortcomings of another would boost my own stature?

All I’m doing by demeaning someone else is painting an unflattering image of myself. It gives me momentary pleasure, for sure. Like loosening a valve and letting some steam escape. It may relieve the pressure but the heat could sear my own skin. How can I bear to look at this image of myself spitting bile? Might as well walk around with snot and saliva dripping on my chin, wear tattered clothes and dirty underwear.

I’m glad I recognize the taste, smell, physical discomfort and ugliness of these human emotions. It serves as my internal guidance system for what I need to work on spiritually.

If truth be told, I’m more pissed at myself for having taken the job out of desperation. I have only myself to blame for selling out and giving my services away for “free.” From a six-figure income I allowed myself to accept a nothing-job so I could pay the rent. My anger towards her is nothing more than unforgiveness of myself turned outward.

I forgive myself and resolve never again to diminish my own worth. I forgive myself for getting pissed off and externalizing it. I forgive myself for sounding ungrateful, however fleetingly. After all, the experience has opened my eyes and cracked open my heart. Sometimes the work of enlightenment means having to see your wholeness through the shattered glass of unforgiveness.

Atheists In The Foxhole

Yesterday I got an email from a recruiter friend announcing his availability for a new position and directing interested parties to a website where the company’s resume book would be available. Blah-blah-blah. There was the euphemistic “company restructuring”, “impacted employees”, blah-blah-blah. My heart bleeds for him. Really. I know how it is.

Out of loyalty to the company who just axed you -- mind you! -- you put the best spin on the situation, not just as a face saving mechanism and for your own psychic wellness, but just as much for those candidates you’ve ushered into the pipeline of the hiring process. It’s an ethical dilemma.

His email was quite a surprise because just the week before this recruiter friend gave me a shout out – “Hey! Know any scientists with skeletal muscle biology experience?”

Now this. News of his lay-off. I guess it was inevitable.

Even before the NYSE opened on Monday morning the cable news channels were already abuzz with the crash of Lehman Bros., the imminent buy-out of Merrill Lynch, and the looming failure of AIG. Employees with bankers’ boxes packed with their personal belongings where shown leaving the building at midnight. Needless to say, Elvis left the building in a golden parachute.

600,000 out of a job in the last eight months alone! I’m not even included in that statistic because I haven’t applied for unemployment. How many more are out there like me, holding off on EDD, with faith in God and the eternal flame of optimism in their hearts that the next gig is just around the corner? What’s the real unemployment number? I got two weeks severance for a job well done, taxed at 25%. Whoop-tee-doo. Carly Fiorina got $42 mil for a job badly botched. I was finding work for people; Ms. Piggy in lipstick was offshoring them.

My inner sense of justice tells me that the Church of Greed and the worship of the Almighty Dollar are on the wane. I pray fervently that this financial Armageddon drives the atheists out of my foxhole.

I Owe, I Owe…So Off To Work I Go!

I recently took a position as Marketing Director for ComForcare Senior Services, a private duty home health care agency focusing on elder care. While the title sounds hoity-toity, I suffered a severe hit in salary, with scanty potential for monetary rewards. But the upside is unquantifiable.

We can choose to experience the downside of the situation, or enjoy the upside. Traffic on my commute…

We can choose to focus on the withered tree, or see the beauty of the scenery…

We can bemoan the crushing bane of life, or praise the blessing on the vine…

When life looks like it's hurling one thing after yet another, we can always choose to see blessing after blessing. And so it always is.

"People do not seem to realize that their

opinion of the world is also a confession of character."

~~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Website: http://www.linkedin.com/in/mayawalker

Blog: http://womanity.blogspot.com

LinkedIn Profile: http://www.linkedin.com/in/mayawalker

Facebook Profile: http://www.facebook.com/people/Maya-Walker/694125351

Own a Piece of the Web...Turn your daily internet usage into your very own money making machine!

Greetings to my beloved friends!

Half the year is almost over and my dearest wish for you is continued prosperity for the rest of the year ahead.

I'd love to share something with you and would love for you to check something out. It's called PeopleString and it's an up and coming web sensation.

PeopleString is a website and portal that allows you to check your email (gmail, yahoo, AOL, etc.), surf the net and pays you while you're doing it. It pays you to do lots of other stuff as well. What stuff? When you refer someone who joins, you get paid. When you answer surveys, you get paid. When you read junk mail, you get paid. When you buy online from their site, you get paid. These are things you already do anyway!

I've been doing due diligence on this company for the last three weeks now and have had a 1-on-1 talk with the CEO/Chief Technologist and the Chief Marketing Officer. They plan to go public by year's end. They have investor funding already. It's free to join. I've been exploring A LOT of these online marketing and online business programs because of the surging social media networking craze. Iâ��m very deliberative, judicious and careful about making referrals but Iâ��m convinced this is going to explode.

What the heck? It's worth a try. If you're not interested, please pass on the PeopleString referral code to someone else who might be interested in getting paid for something they're already doing. Here's the link to check it out:

http://www.peoplestring.com/?u=mayawalker

If you need more information, please donâ��t hesitate to contact me. Thank you so much... you are all truly appreciated!

To your prosperity,

Maya Walker
mayawalker@peoplestring.com

For professional networking, please connect with me @ linkedin.

I am an open networker and will accept all invitation to connect. If you are asked to provide an email address, it is mayawalker@gmail.com

Maya Walker's Blog

Atheists In The Foxhole

Posted on September 22, 2008 at 12:00am

Dave, You Rule!

I had a personal emergency today and didn’t go online until almost 2 PM this afternoon. Lo and behold, there were over 200 linkedin invitations in my gmailbox! And the day isn’t over yet.

WOW! All thanks to Rock Star Recruiter Dave Mendoza, mover, shaker, kingmaker – or queenmaker, to be gender-exact. This phenomenon has nothing at all to do with me or my overnight popularity. Au contraire, it is a reflection of the leadership and strong sway of Dave… Continue

Posted on March 10, 2008 at 9:31pm — 6 Comments

And Audrey Was Her Name

The receptionist buzzed me and said, “Your 1 o’clock is here.”

I cleared my desk, minimized my screen, printed out her resume, checked to see if I had lipstick on my teeth, and got up to meet my candidate in the lobby.

A woman in a gray suit and pearls was seated demurely, reading an old issue of Fortune magazine. “Audrey? Hi, I’m Maya Walker. It's nice to meet you.” I greeted her warmly.

Audrey stood up and held out her hand. She was exceedingly… Continue

Posted on March 7, 2008 at 12:30am — 5 Comments

Let There Be Light!

“If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if a blade of grass springing up in the fields has power to move you, if the simple things in nature have a message you understand, Rejoice, for your soul is alive.” -- Eleanor Duse

Daylight Saving Time begins at 2 AM this Sunday, March 9, 2008, as clocks move ahead by one hour.

Daylight Saving Time is the harbinger of spring for me. Days lengthen, skies brighten, moods lighten... and as spring… Continue

Posted on March 5, 2008 at 7:25pm — 1 Comment

Customer Love & Diplomacy

I clicked on a website recently and found the words “Customer Love” in the “About Us” section of the page. I was reading the recent press release about the company and when I got to the last paragraph, it said, “For answers not appearing in our FAQs, please contact Customer Love” at such-and-such number.

Customer Love?

That sounds a lot like Dubya saying, “Too many OB-GYN’s aren't able to practice their love with women…”… Continue

Posted on February 20, 2008 at 7:29pm — 5 Comments

Comment Wall (51 comments)

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At 10:19am on May 25, 2009, Ziaur Rahman said…: Hi Maya,

Just saw ur post on vincent's wall. I am from dhaka and am in business. Look forward to networking.. Ziaiitm@gmail.com

At 8:06am on January 30, 2009, Lisa said…: Hi Maya,

I am sorry, I have not been so good at keeping up with my LinkedIn. Thank you for allowing me to join your group. I just joined.

At 4:07pm on November 19, 2008, stuart kaylor said…: Hi Maya,
.Iam stuart frm Vassys inc,if you have any requirments please let me know.
Hot list
1.Sr Cognos Devloper-Certified Consultant
2.QA -QTP
Please send me ur reks to stuart@vassys.com
Thanks & Regards

Stuart Kaylor
Resource Manager
Vas Inc.,
4313 Old Valley Court
Ellicott City, Maryland 21043
Phone: 410-720-9980
Yahoo ID : Skaylor_vassys
Gmail ID : stuart@vassys.com

At 3:37pm on November 12, 2008, Ann Luna said…: Thanks for the comments and the wonderful dog photo - woof.
I will come over and join your Linkedin group.
I enjoyed reading you. I love to hear other's stories in our ever so colorful industry. Cheers my friend.

At 3:21pm on November 12, 2008, Kristen Durkin said…: Hi Maya,

Thanks for the invite to LIPW, it's an honor to join a group of successful women all networking on LI. If Dave calling me "groovy" is going to get me great connections like you, I suppose I will have to pay him for more comments on my page!!!
:)

Happy Networking,
Kristen

At 2:52pm on September 25, 2008, Helge V. Keitel said…: Maya, nice to have you as a friend. Br Helge

At 11:25am on September 24, 2008, John Kenny said…: Tx. :)

At 6:50pm on September 21, 2008, Mark E. Berger said…: Hi Maya: My pleasure. Glad you accepted. Same here if you need anything from me. Mark

At 11:36pm on September 18, 2008, J. Michael Blakely said…: Hello Maya,
This is J. Michael Blakely (Corporate Awareness Services, 1996), I have joined the RecruitingBlogs.com site, and I am building my recruiting network. I want to find others with solid recruiting experience as well as individuals new to the staffing industry.
IF interested, let’s see what we can do to help each other continue being successful in a fun and competitive industry. My email address is blakelym@comcast.net and I look forward to hearing from you soon!
Sincerely,
J. Michael Blakely / blakelym@comcast.net / 770-510-8060 mobile

At 4:06pm on August 4, 2008, Manu Mittal said…: Hi Maya

Thanks for adding me.....I am working as a Resource Manager in Jvista Software a IT Staffing company. Will love to learn more about you what is your profile...

Keep in touch.....

Manu
732 361 4968