A bad IT Recruiter Walks Into a Bar...

Dear Wannabe IT Recruiters:

Please quit and do something that you are better suited for.  I don’t know, sell cars. Become a barrista. Just do something – ANYTHING as far away from my industry as possible.  You are messing it up for all of us.  Remember how you could wear shorts in school until some loser came in daisy dukes and then *BAM* - No Shorts.  Well you are way worse you IT recruiting poser. I was getting 35% and then *BAM*, “we are reducing your rate to 15% because the market is over saturated with IT recruiting agencies.
Are you freaking kidding me!?!? What we are saturated with crappy IT recruiters who don’t know the difference between java and JavaScript. Or the difference between front-end or back-end development. Really, it was fine when you were just a bad recruiter but now you are a bad, cheap sell out recruiter and you are stealing money from me. Please. I need to send my kids to college.
I love Steve’s article on The Recruiting Inferno, “The people in our profession who are really great don’t find recruiting, recruiting finds them. Big difference.  [Bad Recruiters] are self-professed experts at post-and-pray – posting a job on a job board and hoping someone good applies – and could care less that they know nothing about the real job other than what is given to them by some low-level peon contract recruiter at a company. If they’re lucky enough to find some dumb corporate recruiter who is equally inept at finding talent, they’ll make a placement – imagine a 20% fee for a minimal amount of work! It’s almost as good as being a US Senator!"
I don’t want to begrudge anyone from having a career but please, you know who you are.  Please sucky recruiters, if you have never recruited without using LinkedIn, or CareerBuilder; If you don’t know the difference between front-end, middle tier or back-end development; If you don’t know what a Boolean Search is; please quit and run. Run as far away from recruiting as possible.
Take the title “Recruiter or Sourcer” off your profiles and tell no one that you were ever in this business.  It is for the greater good of all professional recruiters worldwide.
Love Ya – Mean It,
PS: In case you have not seen a bad IT recruiter in action, it goes something like this….
A bad IT recruiter walks into a bar. 
Bartender : “Hey can I get you a Bacardi and Coke?”
Bad IT Recruiter: “Let me look at my preferred drink list. Hmmmm, can I have a rum and coke?”
Bartender: “ Right, a Bacardi and coke!”
Bad IT Recruiter: “No, I don’t need Bacardi. The list says Rum and Coke.”
Bartender: “That is crazy! Who wrote the list?”
Bad IT Recruiter: “I can’t tell you.”
Bartender:  “Dude, you are nuts! You need to check that list again everyone knows that Bacardi is a type of Rum!”
Bad IT Recruiter: “Wow, you are not a very good bartender. Isn't this a bar?”
Bartender: “You are sitting at the bar of Frank’s Grille. Didn't you see the sign when you walked in?”
Bad IT Recruiter: “Oh that explains it. The bartender that could get me what I need is at a bar, not a Grille. You were not qualified in the first place! If you have any friends that work at a bar that severs rum, will you give them my number?”

Views: 945

Comment by Ryan Leary on February 14, 2013 at 5:50pm

Very cool post. I love the Bar scene!

Comment by Rebecca B. Sargeant on February 14, 2013 at 9:50pm

LOL - great post!

But don’t you think we should be directing all these comments to Recruiting and Staffing Agency owners. 

These are people not only supporting bad recruiter but, they are also encouraging them to make one stupid call after another.  Personally I have heard an owner tell a new Recruiter, “Brush it off! The next call will be better. Every dial is a new learning experience.” 

Baptism by fire is NOT training!

I think there should be a special place in hell for someone who cons a person into joining our industry and then turns that person lose to call people with no training. 

Next time you run into a “Bad Recruiter” do us all a favor and find it Maker and stake them ;-)


Comment by Ryan Harding on February 15, 2013 at 5:53pm

That is classic!  Many of the points you have in here, are the exact reasons why I got out of agency recruiting. 


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