Blogs, Responses & Hurt feelings …

I had the pleasure of being invited as a Guest on the Recruiting Animal Blogtalk Radio Show – after getting thoroughly prepped by Animal the day before and listening to previous episodes; it seemed that I would have to adopt an aggressive stance- not my normal calm consulting demeanour. But I loved it – I brought my 3 nails, a mop and a shovel, in case I had to dig my own hole … Even though I scored a minus 1 to 50/100 by some of the industry experts on the show I would still love to be invited on again I don’t mind getting crucified its fun and you are wired for an entire 1 ½ hours… I LOVE IT !

As a regular contributor to recruitingblogs.com I totally enjoy writing blogs responding to blogs, questioning opinions or positions on the Status quo, old concepts … new concepts - we all have thought out or not so thought out opinions we what to share - we all can learn something from each other and we all bring; I hope some years of experience to the table to lean on when making an informed response to a blog.

It seems however, that a number of bloggers on this site have a problem with a difference of opinion with respect to responses and actually hold grudges over a response that might show a different point of view - to the point of personal character assassination which is crazy in a funny kind of way. Look if you are a blogger and can’t take a new perspective or a challenge then stick to being a spectator. You’re not supposed to take it personally - it’s just in opposition to your posted blog - a proposed perspective. Why would you want readers to only agree with your perspective - if other perspectives can be logically proposed.

I want to be challenged on an idea or position I take in any of the Blogs I write, it makes it more exciting, it keeps me on my toes – why are some people so afraid to be challenged and not be questioned…? How do you learn anything…? How boring a World it would be if we agreed with everyone all the time. So we get into a tussle, and we argue - I have no problem apologizing if I cross the line… I do it every time. But we are “Recruiters First” we have crazy personalities that sets us apart from other Professions... Let’s embrace that not bury it- we are one family…

And, finally, no amount of research of a person’s background can give anyone the right to assume they know someone - so personal character attacks says more about what’s lacking in you than the person in your crosshairs…. Nothing wrong in seeking a little group or individual therapy it really works … (Ok I had to throw that in J).

If you write a Blog be prepared to have your position questioned, challenged or supported with new perspectives … This is why I like recruiting blogs the characters on this site makes it an exciting online property to be on, I welcome constructive criticism and trust me … you won’t hurt my feelings …

Comment by Sandra McCartt on April 1, 2011 at 2:56pm: Before we get into a big debate about how we say something as opposed to what we say ,how about we keep in mind that every opinion and every comment is simply a response to that particular post. There may be a person behind that post (or in a few cases maybe not :) but for Christ's sake it's blog post. It's not YOU. It's what you wrote or how you wrote it or what you wrote about. Just words.

If your self identity or ego or emotional well being is so fragile that anyone who disagrees with something you flopped out there on a blog post , even strongly ,sends you into a corner sucking your thumb or makes you gunny sack a personal grudge then probably you shouldn't be posting on a blog. Bloggers are not professional journalists or authorities on much of anything. We react to things based on our own personal experience, how we do business blah, blah and blah. It's worth exactly what you pay for it.

A blog is like going to big conference. If you didn't meet somebody you couldn't relate to or didn't much like on first impression you just didn't meet enough people. Take the part you like and forget the rest.

If i flop something out there and folks think it sucks buttermilk and say so. My take is that i can defend it or not. Or if my comment was misunderstood, clarify it. If somebody asks me a question, i answer it and they call me a liar then it's time to either go to the ground or tell em to shove it and roll on. Do i care if anybody agrees with me? Nope, it's just an opinion or an experience take it for what it's worth. It doesn't have one thing to do with me personally or my self worth or yours. It's just an opinion on a blog post. Try writing on a political blog and see how long you survive without being attacked by a pack of dogs after raw meat. :)

Once in a while we get a bonofide nut case who just wants to rant and agrue , insult any and everybody in any way they can think of just because they are nuts, but normally the community piles on to these types or they get removed and the beat goes on. Sometimes they make strange calls and send threatening emails but crazy is just crazy and they will find somebody new to attack next week.

Life is too short to take something like a blog post as a doomsday judgement of you, your dog and your idiot first born child. And no i didn't personally insult your first born child. I am talking about my own idiot first born child. If you don't have one i will be happy to share. In short, get over it. Being a victim is boring as hell. As is getting your nose out of joint over an opinion jeeeesus, opinions are like...well you know.

Comment by Nancy McGarry on April 1, 2011 at 4:28pm: Sandra, the comment made on a blog about your picture the other day was a personal attack and I don't think that anyone should make personal attacks on anyone, be it in person, on TV, in a newspaper, or in a blog. Freedom of speech is fine, but it's immature to react to the point of denigration. There are certain rules we still follow in society in terms of how we should treat each other. Even the simplest of rules about how to dress for an interview - some things are unsaid but followed. You said it yourself about the girl who kept her playboy bunny nails on for the interview. We should follow some rules with regards to respect and impressions. If we don't follow them we find ourselves in negative situations.

I find that, as a society as a whole, we tend to take the physical threats more seriously than the emotional threats while both can be just as devastating. To censor may be wrong but I think it’s great that Paul took the time to encourage bloggers to be more respectful as opposed to insulting.

Comment by Paul Alfred on April 1, 2011 at 4:31pm: Morgan you make a good point ... I suffer from thinking I am high and mighty too sometimes .. I too need to be humbled :) - there is always something new we can learn...

@Keith .. Yes thought provoking is key some folks mis- understand what that means ...

@Nancy You would be surprised how folks outside of our industry perceive us...

@Sandra - I can't agree with you more - perhaps I will admit that this bIog speaks to me as well I can be a hound sometimes and need to know when to just chill-Lax sometimes ..

Comment by Nancy McGarry on April 1, 2011 at 4:37pm: Yes, Paul that is why I said that it's a HUGE perception. I was agreeing with you. But I also think that we have been stereotyped, hence the misperception. No surprises there.

Comment by Paul Alfred on April 1, 2011 at 4:52pm: @Nancy ... It would be interesting to explore whether or not we could remove this stereo type ...

Comment by Helena Smith on April 1, 2011 at 4:59pm: This is a great post. I am also a member of other blog sites and find it very disheartening when someone goes on the attack rather than taking a position and professionally defending it. An opinion is just that, an opinion and should be understood as such.

Comment by Jerry Albright on April 1, 2011 at 5:15pm: @Nancy and Paul - I'm not so sure the "negative stereotype" thing is a big deal for me. In fact I'm quite content with my competitors providing absolutely horrible service. It makes it rather refreshing for clients who meet folks like us. It's pretty easy to rise above all that. Don't ya think?

Comment by Nancy McGarry on April 1, 2011 at 5:32pm: Absolutely. I just laugh it off because that kind of thing never bothers me personally. What does bother me is that there's a reason why the stereotype exists.

Comment by Paul Alfred on April 1, 2011 at 5:33pm: @Helena I really appreciate the feedback ...

@Jerry - You make a good point - But don't you hate going to parties and intros go around and " So what do you do Paul' .. "I am Recruiter Bob ... and you, what's your game " Oh... ok.. a Headhunter Bob replies taking a bigger gulp of that wine he was sipping on ... before answering me ...

Comment by Jerry Albright on April 1, 2011 at 5:35pm: I just don't really hear of it much. As I think about it though, I never ask. I've met other recruiters who tell me they ask their candidates what they don't like about recruiters - hoping to set up their "well, we're not like that at all" close I imagine. It must work for them I guess.

Have a great weekend everyone!

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