Finding the perfect mate and the perfect employee are more similar than you think !

Whether you’ve been in this business for decades or are just starting out, you know that recruiting is all about the Pursuit and Capture: attracting qualified candidates, and keeping and retaining the top match.

Kinda like dating.

Think about it. As a dater, you have a dream: finding that special someone with whom you can spend the rest of your life. As a recruiter, you have a parallel mission: filling an open position with the best candidate, who will remain with your company for a long time.

A realistic player in the Dating Game, you realize the importance of first impressions. You want to position yourself as a worthwhile dater, so throughout the process, you make sure that your appearance – what you present to your potential datees – is a true reflection of yourself. Similarly, as a serious recruiter, you know that employer branding is a key component to the recruiting process, since your reputation sets the tone for any future connections – you want to ensure that your public character reveals your company’s chief attributes.

Next, you need to source – or, as daters would put it, let hunting season begin! Daters begin at the mecca of all sources, a.k.a. online dating websites. These sites allow you to directly advertise yourself and what you are looking for in a mate. Then there’s speed dating, which lets you mingle face-to-face with many potential dates at once. There’s the good ole’ fashioned matchmaking by friends or family (while they’ll do this out of the goodness of their own – though perhaps meddling – hearts, some traditions hold that a successful matchmaker of three marriages wins a free spot in heaven. Sweet deal.) And then there are the different social media sites. In an informal virtual environment, it’s easier to check out and connect to friends of your friends who have similar interests, thereby expanding your romantic network.

As corporate recruiters, you integrate these very same tools into your daily repertoire. Just replace the dating sites with job boards and career websites, and you have instant platforms from which you can present your company, the position and required qualifications. Career fairs give you a chance to personally meet several potential candidates in one shot. Employee referral programs encourage your workers to set you up with their acquaintances – and while you can’t offer them a place in the celestial skies, you can reward them with monetary compensation. Lastly, harnessing the beneficial power of social media, whether by integrating it into your employee referral program via your workers’ social networks on Facebook, or by creating your own networks through interactions with industry professionals on LinkedIn, enables you to directly connect with a larger pool of qualified candidates.

The sorting process is just as comparable. As a dater, you first read through the potential datees’ profiles on the dating/social media sites (or listen to your Aunt Jeanne sing the guy’s praises for a week straight) and exchange a few innocent messages before deciding who passes muster to proceed to the First Date. At this initial meeting, both of you are on your best behavior, each telling a bit of your life stories, and considering if there is any potential. Assuming all went well, the Second Date finds you engaging in more personal discussions, as you begin to evaluate the datee’s values and goals on a deeper level. After, even if the spark is there and you are aligned on certain core issues, you still take it slow; you begin to date regularly, but before you can commit to him, you want to make sure that you really ‘click’. Finally, you both agree that your bond has the potential to succeed, and while you understand that this is a continuing process with constant development, you feel confident enough to invest in a long-term relationship.

You use the same formula as a corporate recruiter. After your initial interactions with applicants, whether through resumes, personal encounters at a career fair, or employee recommendations, you correspond with them, assessing their suitability and genuine interest, before inviting the qualified ones for the First Interview. You will both be there to impress, the candidate touting his or her professional experience, and you explaining your company’s mission and hopes for the position. If you have a good feeling about the candidate, you extend a request for the Second Interview. Already acquainted with the relevant background, you might administer an internal psychometric exam or pose a series of realistic test questions to assess the candidate’s response and reaction to the different issues. And when you think you’ve found ‘the one’, you still must be cautious, so you hire the candidate on a contingent 90-day probationary period – you want to be sure that he or she fits in with the company culture, adapts well to the position and is a productive member of the corporate team. When the candidate lives up to your expectations, you take him or her off of probation, and start to cultivate a long-term relationship in hopes of yielding a higher retention rate.

Just like those in the dating scene, corporate recruiters face the formidable task of building relationships with candidates. Behavioral patterns have evolved, and candidates today want to be wooed. Like daters, recruiters need to actively engage on a sociable and personal level. Remember, the magic word is ‘investment’. A good investment in a qualified candidate with the hopes of an eventual hire can result in a high ROI. And that’s a happy ending to any love story.

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Comment by Valentino Martinez on July 29, 2011 at 1:01am: Assaff,

Dating and recruiting have some things in common as you point out, but mixing the two conceptually and operationally is asking for trouble.

You say, "Like daters, recruiters need to actively engage on a sociable and personal level." Then you end your blog with, "And that's a happy ending to any love story."

Aren’t you confusing what should be a professional interface with a personal one? Recruiters, in my view, should not be approaching job candidates or clients from the perspective of a dater. If they do they open the door for mixed signals and misinterpretation of those signals, particularly if the signal(s) is meant and taken personally.

Recruiters may love their work and love the idea of attracting and facilitating the placement of viable candidates, into challenging jobs with forward moving employers, but they must be careful not to confuse or cross the line of professional demeanor and behavior.

It is not unheard of that some recruiters actually hit on some job candidates. While it happens—it is not condoned by any employer that I know of, nor is getting personal, with a “dating formula theme” with a job candidate promoted in any interviewer training program I’m aware of, and I’ve been around long enough to see most of them.

Comment by Sandra McCartt on July 29, 2011 at 1:18am: So ,given this analogy would recruiting "passive candidates" be sort of like having an affair with someone else's spouse that might end up causing a divorce and remarriage. Danger Will Robinson!

Comment by Julie Link on July 29, 2011 at 11:41am: I think the key here is that as recruiters we really have to "sell" the company and the position for which we are recruiting. It's not just about finding a candidate. We have to get them excited about this opportunity. You can't just call a passive candidate and say, "I have a fulltime job opening for an IT Manager that will pay $100K. Are you interested?" Unless that person is actively looking or just having a really bad day, this tactic is not going to work. Instead, reach out to them and say, "I have been hired by a company that has ABC selling points to find and recruit the best IT Manager in the area. Through my networking, I have heard XYZ about you and I am impressed. Is this a good time, or how soon can we schedule a private phone call?" If you really are targeting the very best recruits, you have to really engage them and get them excited, not just tell them you have a job opening.

Comment by Valentino Martinez on July 30, 2011 at 2:24pm: @Julie,

The gist of this blog was to appreciate the similarity of the "Dating Game" and how to make a good first impression on a job candidate as a formula that also works in pursuing a "mate"—suggesting its value for application to the recruitment process. My concern is that some recruiters may take such a recommended method literally. The legend of the “casting couch” is not a myth, so suggesting such a concept, even innocently—can open Pandora’s Box, particularly for those who don’t require coaching.

Professional recruiters, who are also cognizant of the legal limits of their profession, know how to "engage" candidates without crossing the line by getting personal with them. Therefore, pursuing a candidate for employment is not at all similar to how you would pursue a "mate". Nor is applying what amounts to a "dating formula" wash either.

There are limits for getting anyone excited about job prospects particularly if “Finding the perfect mate and the perfect employee” are actually considered similar as Assaf suggests they are. And if the application of the “Dating Game” formula to make a “pick me” impression is in one’s recruiting arsenal of tools/methods to woo the very best recruits—“Hello Pandora”.

Comment by Assaf Eisenstein on August 1, 2011 at 3:59am: @Valentino
Thanks so much for your comment. Just to clarify, by no means are we suggesting that personal boundaries be crossed when recruiting, or that the lines of professionalism be blurred in any way. Dating is being used as an analogy in that, just like finding a perfect life partner, in order to find a proper candidate, you must look beyond simply his or her credentials and understand their ‘fit’ within your organization. In an effort to do so, relationship building in the form of networking, etc. are now part of the equation.

I think many recruiters would agree that in this day and age, there are hundreds of “qualified candidates” for each job opening. They may possess the proper educational background, skill set, and business acumen. But because so many companies rely on team efforts, cross-functional team meetings, and group dynamics, these credentials are not enough. There must be a synergy between and amongst your company’s employees and management, and overall, a cultural fit. Our blog article suggests that, just like in the dating world, there needs to be the “get to know you” period with your potential employee, to thereby increase the chances of longevity with, and productivity by, your new hire.

Comment by Assaf Eisenstein on August 1, 2011 at 4:04am: @Sandra

Thanks for your comment as well. This is an interesting perspective you take on the passive candidate. The primary difference between your suggestion and our idea of attracting the passive candidate, is that today’s employees do not owe anything to their companies. And if a company fails to build loyalty with their employees, they can and will explore other options if ones were to present themselves. No matter the case, in today’s job market there will always be competition amongst recruiters for the top talent. While the intention is not to “steal” or “cheat” companies out of their employees, it is also not in the company’s best interest to hold unengaged employees either.

Comment by Valentino Martinez on August 1, 2011 at 1:42pm: @Assaf,

I appreciate your use of an analogy, but using one with a very personal spin-possibility is dancing on the edge of logic and danger ("Danger Will Robinson" - I liked that Sandra--because even a robot could detect a danger zone).

Dating and mate-seeking roll purely in the PERSONAL ZONE so when you call those out in any arena, particularly in recruiting, you are awakening one of the most powerful dynamics that make us all (at least most of us) only human. To assume this is an innocent play on words is actually being coy. And being coy in the realm of recruitment has no place for "dating" and/or "mate seeking" in my view.

Comment by Sandra McCartt on August 1, 2011 at 2:25pm: I was making a somewhat lame attempt at humor. But, believe me there are lot of people who know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we steal people from companies when we recruit a candidate who is otherwise not looking until the recruiter contacts them. That is why most companies have recruiters sign an agreement not to recruit from them if place into the company.

You are correct that companies have the responsibility for keeping employees engaged and happy but many a reasonably happy employee has been lured to greener pastures by a good recruiter. We are not cheating companies but we sure are regarded in a lot of cases as the "fox in the henhouse".