Day 7: How to make a Recruiter ROTFLMAO!

So I'll start this one with a joke:

Today at 3PM, one of my established clients had their VP of Sales write me an e-mail.  He dusted off our fee agreement and changed some words and highlighted the changes in the 3M patented neon yellow highlighter look.  He writes in the body of the e-mail that he's been asked (?) to "take a look" at our (20% BTW - yawn) fee agreement.  He says that if "everything looks ok" then we can keep going on his sales role he's trying to fill. 

The change (yes...one) he made was in the guarantee portion of our agreement:  "Replace" to "Refund". 

OK.  So a couple of the recruiters here got a little ticked at me when I barked out a super-obnoxious phony laugh at the proposition and exclaimed:  "Whatever" while still staring at that joke of an e-mail.  I dial the guy's number and after about 10 rings he answers my call with his speaker phone.  Pleasantries.  Then I said that he must know that we're paid on commission.  He must also know that (let's call the new employee) Billy isn't OUR employee for the first 90 days.  He's like... "Steve, they're killing me over here."  I'm like... "Can't do it.  Sorry.  We don't do that."  Some further explanation. 

Twenty minutes ago, an e-mailed arrived with "Replace" securely tucked back into it's little home.

A LOT of resumes out the door today.  Planting those seeds.  3000 e-mails carefully chosen through boolean search and radius boundaries went out over the weekend and NOT A SINGLE "UNSUBSCRIBE" reply.  That's a record.

I had 178 people respond for our Program Management roles (plural) and today was exhausting.  I've made over 100 calls averaging 2 minutes and 38 seconds and the total phone time topped over 4 hours and 30 minutes. 

Sadly, I didn't clear my Inbox today with 48 remaining e-mails and 11 voice mail messages.  That's mortal sin here.  I FEEL GUILTY!  We strike while the iron is hot.  We parse out candidates as we can and clean up at the end of the day.  I have to break the rule today.

After all... my kid's soccer dinner thing is Wednesday night and each family is supposed to bring food.  OK.  For 70 people.  Huh?  I asked her what we're signed up to bring.  Her answer precisely:  "Only chicken."  Sigh.  So I'm off to Sam's Club to buy 30 pounds of chicken or whatever mass quantity portion they sell it in.  The soccer families will be feasting on MY homemade barbequed chicken BECAUSE I'M A TIGHT WAD!  I can't afford to buy them Chicken Shack (Lincoln Park, MI - voted #1) because my placement is sitting in my INBOX.  So there!

Tomorrow's a big day.  I want send outs!

- Steve

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