Death and Your Instincts

Early this morning I awoke feeling anxious, my thoughts focused on people I’ve not seen in years. This made no sense, leaving me wondering if something had happened to them. Something did happen, just not to them.

My dear friend Ben, a brilliant and talented researcher for a major university has been battling cancer and seemed to be making significant progress, the chemo doing its job driving the cancer towards remission. In a lunch with him last week, he was talking about the progress and making plans for his future, including the new car he was planning to treat himself to in the Fall.

Minutes after getting out of bed this morning, I learned that an untreatable infection will take his life and that hospice has been called in. While my instincts were not specifically about him, clearly my head and my heart knew something was very wrong.

I find myself filled with a mixture of emotions – deep sadness for my friend, grief for the loss his three children are about to experience, and awe at the power of my intuition. At a recent visit to a client in Southern California, I spent time emphasizing the importance of trusting your instincts and sharing research that backs up the power of these internal devices, include the work of Dr. Paul Pearsall, author of “The Heart’s Code” and “Wishing Well.” In his research, he illustrated that there is a tremendous amount of electromagnectic energy that our bodies both transmit and receive from one another. In a keynote, I heard him refer to us as “towers” that send and receive signals.

These instincts not only serve us in deeply personal situations, they are also there waiting for us to tap into them with our customers, colleagues, candidates, vendors, and prospects. Pay attention to them, as they will help you understand more, deepen rapport, expand relationships, and make vital human connections that will bring value to both you and those you work with.

While none of this makes my emotional pain regarding my friend Ben any less, it does remind me of the tremendous gifts and powers we all have as human beings. Use them well, use them for good, use them to do your part in making the businesses and lives of your customers better each day.

Comment by Tony Palm on July 2, 2012 at 12:29pm: Thanks for sharing your insight and loss. Please accept my condolences.

After failing several times to find an old friend with whom I’d lost touch, I finally gave up this time last year. With the resources at my disposal along with 10 years staffing experience, I figured if I couldn’t find him, he didn’t want to be found.

Following an ‘anxious instinct’ 2 weeks ago, I ran a simple Google search with just his name. The first hit was his obituary, which listed his date of death as October 23^rd, 2011.

This revelation has left me wondering, if I had tried just a little harder, would I have found my friend before his untimely death? Who’s to know?

Your experience only further strengthens my resolve to never again ignore my intuitive sense.

Comment by Bill Schultz on July 2, 2012 at 2:13pm: So sorry for your loss, Scott. And you too, Tony.

I recently had a similar occurrence with a happy ending. I was inseparable with my neighbor growing up. She and I did everything together. . When we became teens, she chose a dark path and we lost touch. I had heard disturbing things and was not sure she was alive.

2 months ago, I hade made plans for a family vacation in Palm Springs (it was a time share and we chose from various places) . Within the next week, I got a Facebook message from her asking if I was thee Bill Schultz.

Yada yada yada, she had just moved to Palm Springs. We met there and picked up right where we left off 40 years ago.

Comment by Suresh on July 2, 2012 at 3:03pm: Scott, very interesting thoughts. I had a similar experience with 3 of my uncles pass away within a year. Couple of them were just 60 and one was about 70.

It put a lot of things in perspective for me and urged me to take bolder steps in my career. My instincts told me to not wait for a better time to start things, do it now..

Comment by Scott Wintrip on July 2, 2012 at 5:44pm: Thanks Tony, Bill, and Suresh. Just imagine if all recruiters tapped into this personal power more often. The lives that would be changed and the companies that would be helped in such deep and tremendous ways.