Adapted from the evil thoughts of Dwight Shrute
ADAPTING TO UNEXPECTED CIRCUMSTANCES - I learned my company could go bankrupt, causing every employee to lose their jobs. This revelation rocked me to the core - the thought of Jim Halpert getting laid off before I have a chance to get him fired was simply devastating.
CO-CONSPIRATORS - I don't do well with partners. I almost never figure skate in pairs. At camp, my swim buddy drowned (not my fault he couldn't keep up with me). However, a co-worker learned of my diabolical plans and forced me to conspire with him against my foe. Now, this solitary predator will have to learn to hunt with another. Ah-woooooo (that's the sound of me howling like a wolf, the prototypical pack hunter - it's a metaphorical howl)!
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