How to get fired at your office Christmas Party 2011

Christmas is such a great time of year! It’s time to celebrate and let your hair down and what better way to celebrate the year than at your work Christmas party?! So here’s a few tips to make sure that you don’t become fodder for office gossip and that you do indeed have a job to go to on Monday!

  1. Consume too much alcohol: it’s tempting I know (because generally someone else is paying for the alcohol) but just about everything that can go wrong at your work Christmas party starts with too much alcohol!
  2. Go on a rant: it is not the time to air your grievances! It is not the time to complain about the co-worker that is rubbing you up the wrong way; or the boss who uses you to inflate their own career; or how overworked and under appreciated you are.
  3. Attendance: attendance is pretty much compulsory – don’t be late, don’t leave too early.Your attendance and your level of mingling will be noted by HR and management. And if you’re in management – plan on staying late!
  4. Attire: Christmas parties are usually the time to get all frocked up (well for us girls anyway) – make an effort to look good, make sure your private parts are all adequately covered!
  5. Humour: Be careful!! Most jokes have an offensive component to SOMEONE. Choose carefully what jokes you will tell, it’s not the time to try out your amateur comedy routine
  6. Networking: yes – your Christmas party is about networking, it is not about who you can score with!!!(do I need more exclamation marks here?) don’t kiss a co-worker – you know the saying what goes on tour stays on tour, this does not apply to Christmas parties, hook-ups are definitely off limits!
  7. Dancing: now I LOVE dancing but I am the first to admit that whilst I may not be particularly talented in this area, I could dance all night. The trick to dancing at your Christmas party is to ensure that you have good clean fun, it’s not the time to pretend you’re pole dancing or stripping, or guys – don’t get grabby, just get dancey!
  8. Pick a fight: last but not least, DO NOT GET INTO A FIGHT! Walk away if a conversation is going in a way you don’t like, do not ask provoking questions (like asking the big boss just what she actually does all day!), do not engage in a topic that heats you up.

Christmas is a great time of year and it is a fantastic time to let your hair down and spend some enjoyable time with your colleagues! If you keep in mind that too much alcohol is the undoing of many a man (or woman!) and remember that everyone owns a phone with a camera in them these days, so your every moment could be captured for all eternity; you will be likely to have a good time and leave still have your job on Monday!

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