This post by the Anonymous Recruiter originally appeared on the RecruitLoop Blog. Here he vents on the curse of every recruitment agency – the Monday morning meeting: Predictions, pipelines and peer pressure.

Mondays. Every recruiter’s favorite day of the week … Not!

Besides the agony of the end of the weekend, Monday seems to be the one day when “small talk” is acceptable.

I don’t like small talk. Particularly, in the morning.

Waking up and slaving away at my cold calling recruitment career is frustrating enough, without being asked the stock standard water cooler questions, “how was your weekend?”, or “did you get up to much?”.

I digress. This post is about that all too familiar (in)famous Monday morning meeting – a true recruitment agency staple.

Aside from the boredom, the meeting is a complete efficiency drainer.

Sunday evening and early Monday morning, I prepare diligently, and hype myself up for the week. This helps me hit the ground running on Monday. However, my momentum is significantly curbed because I have to mentally prepare for the morning meeting.

To be honest I can’t recall the last time I actually got a decent sleep on a Sunday night. Just thought of the inquisition that might be directed at me, the ‘pop quiz’ around market insights or ‘gossip’, or the fact that I’d have to endure another mental game of “bullsh*t bingo” as my colleagues tried to outdo each other with figures, fake stats, and industry jargon.

Predictions?

My prediction is that we’ll still be in here at 10:30am!

Pitched as an opportunity for “everyone to be heard” and a “chance for any issues to be aired”, the Monday morning meeting is really a chance for management to check up on you as you deliver your weekly five-minute snapshot on client activity, budgets, new business in the pipeline and of course the obligatory corny one liner to give the impression you really care.

Talking about corny one liners … I can’t believe our branch manager Maxine (or Pepsi Maxine as she’s known behind her back) kicks off every Monday meeting with the words “Now let’s all keep it snappy, people – a fast game’s a good game” – like a clichéd netball coach shouting at her team from the sideline.

Are you serious? Then why does she let all meetings go on as long as a NBL final that’s gone into overtime?

Any recruiter will appreciate how developing a pipeline of new business and sourcing new candidates is simply a matter of serious effort and can be cyclical. So there are the inevitable Mondays where I just don’t have enough to report. This can be incredibly embarrassing and is usually not reflective of how a recruiter is performing.

I swear I could do an entire blog entry just on Monday morning meeting agendas.

How many times have you discussed all of the items on the agenda in the first 20 minutes of the meeting? Then, still follow the agenda point by point mostly reiterating the same information?

I’m feeling nauseous just thinking about it.

The result of this regimented agenda practice is anything but open, and lacks a great deal of transparency.

I honestly do value the thoughts of my teammates, it’s just that I find the Monday morning meeting a terrible forum for feedback.

And I know I am not the only one.

How do you deal with Monday morning meetings?  #EscapetheAgency