by Nanci Lamborn SPHR and BrightMove Recruiting Software

Oh, no he didn’t! Oh, yes he did!

It seems that more and more stories abound today with details of major job-seeker mistakes. Articles such as this recent Resume Blunders story from Yahoo (http://tinyurl.com/24znk3u) and this Ezine story about Candidates Behaving Badly (http://tinyurl.com/2ayzf7f) are increasing in number (and level of candidate idiocy) every week.

So to add to the trend, I thought I would pass along some of my own more recent favorites, most of which I have actually heard personally, and a few of which were passed along by others. Feel free to add any of your own recent experiences in comments!

These are all very real comments or response from very real individuals.

“I’m sorry, are we going to be much longer? My kids are in the car.”

(Says the candidate as he presses his Bluetooth earpiece mid-interview) “Yeah, this is The Big D, gonna have to call you back.”

“Will taking this job affect my unemployment?”

(Says the candidate in response to a ‘Tell me about your last job’ question) “Oh boy, that was just a really awful, horrible environment, my supervisor was so mean… (pauses, starts crying quietly) … I’m sorry, it’s just so painful to think about. Do you have a tissue?”

“So, on your health benefits, if I were to, say, feel really sick and end up going to the doctor and they ended up doing a bunch of test on me and discovered I had something really bad wrong, how much would all that end up costing me?”

(Says the candidate in response to a ‘What is your five-year plan?’ question) “To be honest I’d really like to have your job. Seems like fun.”

“I have several offers on the table as of this past week, from Morgan-Stanley Investments and Coca-Cola corporate, and let’s see, who else was it? Oh yes, from IBM and Turner Broadcasting, too, but I’m not really sure I’m all that interested in those offers.”

(Says the candidate in response to a ‘How are you doing?’ question) “I’m doing pretty well considering I just passed a kidney stone.”

“So how exactly does your company feel about tardiness and showing up late a lot? Would that be a real problem?”

(Says the candidate as he answers his personal cellphone during the interview) “What, man? Yeah, I’m still in here. No, man, I dunno how long I’ll be, geez! (As he hangs up) Sorry, my buddy brought me here ‘cause I don’t have a car, and he’s out in the lobby waiting. I told him not to call.”

“I’m 48 years old, I’m single with two kids, and I had to take all of last year off to take care of some serious medical problems but everything is better now.”

(Says the candidate in response to a ‘What are your long term goals?’ question) “What, you mean besides becoming the CEO and propping my feet up in a corner office?”

“Would I be able to use the company gym showers every morning? Might save me some water.”

“How long before I would get a promotion? In my last job it only took about three months.”

(Says the candidate in response to a ‘What are your career plans?’ question) “This job sounds like it would be pretty okay for me in the short run, but what I really want to do is run for State Senator.”

(Sung in Buckeyes tune when discovering the other party graduated from Michigan) “Oh, I don’t give a da—about the whole state of Michigan, ‘cause I’m from Ohio.”

So have your candidates said anything memorable lately? Feel free to share!

Nanci Lamborn, SPHR, is a senior generalist at a global financial software firm in Atlanta, Georgia where she considers it a privilege to interview superior candidates for a superior employer.

About BrightMove
BrightMove is a leading provider of Software-as-a-Service (SaaS) recruiting software and talent acquisition solutions for staffing, Outsourcing and corporate HR recruiting.

Incorporated in 2003, BrightMove has quickly grown to become a system of choice for recruiters who want to use advanced tools designed to find and manage only the best of talent. With clients worldwide including The Experts, RiseSmart, Subaru of America and Maidenform, BrightMove is one of fastest-growing ATS providers in the industry.