[Part 1]

Twas the Night before Christmas
And Santa was worried
All his reindeer were AWOL
Except for ‘ol Murray

“What shall I do?”
“Children are excited”
“There can’t be a morning”
“With trees looking blighted!”

Peering over at Murray
Who was reading the news
Said Santa, “Hey buddy…”
“…help me or else we’re all screwed.”

Murray yawned and he stretched
And scratched at his arse
Spoke with deep voice,
“The market for reindeer is actually quite sparse.”

“Chillax Mr. Kringle”
Murray picked up the phone
And dialed a recruiter
Who lived in Bayonne.

“Hey ‘dis is Rocco”
Spoke the guy on the line
“If someone is nee-did”
“My team dey will find.”

“Ah Mr. Bagodonuts”
“You’re voice I have missed”
“Santa’s in a pickle”
“And needs you to assist.”

“Well what’s da problem?”
“Old man loose his head?”
“If it were that simple”
“I’d still be asleep in my bed.”

“No, the reindeer are missing”
“Big Boy’s sleigh’s in the shack”
“We need ‘Rocco Old School’ ”
“To get Christmas back on track!”

“Wait - so yooz tellin’ me”
“Dat dehs no reindeer pipeline?”
“Dat no one’s been saucin’”
“Wat da f*ck, dis sounds so byzantine!”

“So yooz want me ta find”
“9 reindeer ride a-way”
“Who can pull Mistah Claus”
“Da presents and a towsand pound sleigh?”

“Will you help us dear Rocco?”
“We can do twenty percent”
“On da Night bee-fo Christmas?”
“It’s tirty-five – money well spent.”

[Merry Christmas to all...more coming later :) ]