We’ve been hearing lots lately about prospective employers asking for Facebook or other social media passwords, or asking to view a candidate’s private profile.  We don’t think that a candidate should share this information, but it is important to recognize that the line between our private online activities and our public ones is blurring more and more by the day.  So, if you are asked, how do you say no without damaging your chances of getting the job?  There are a few key tactics:

First, you have to understand the question behind the question.  Why do employers want to know what you are doing on Facebook?  Unless you are applying for a job where you will be responsible for the companies’ social media presence (more on that later), the reason is usually that they want assurance that you won’t embarrass the company.  So,

Tactic 1: Assure them that you won’t embarrass the company

Your answer might go something like this, “I understand that it is important for companies today to be certain that their employees aren’t engaging in embarrassing, negative or illegal behavior online.  I can assure you that I use my Facebook profile as a private way to keep up with friends and family.  I do not post negative comments about my employer or co-workers, I do not post suggestive photos of myself or others, nor do I allow others to post this type of material.”  In my case, I would add that I am Facebook friends with my Grandfather’s sister and my nine year old nephew.  I never post anything that I wouldn’t share with this audience who has direct access to my mother.

Tactic 2: Give them something else

Why not invite them to follow you on Twitter or connect with you on Linked-in?  These sites are more often used for business purposes and networking.   Make sure that there is nothing negative or embarrassing and that your Tweets and Linked-in posts are positive and related to the job you would like.  You might say, “My Facebook profile is private and full of pictures of my cousin’s kids.  My Linked-in profile is far more relevant.  I’d be honored to connect with you or anyone else at the company.  You’ll be able to see my industry connections and the groups to which I belong.”  Do you have a blog that is public and relevant to your work?  If so, invite them to look at that.

On the subject of giving them something, “I don’t belong to any online social networking sites,” is not a good answer.  If you are under 60, it is just really hard to believe and chances are the employer already knows if you have a profile or not.  If you really don’t belong to any social networks, now is the time to join Linked-in and begin working on your professional profile.

Tactic 3: I’d love to, but I just can’t

Did you know that it is a violation of the Facebook user agreement to share your password with anyone?  Yep.  It sure is.  I’d use this tactic only if the first two don’t work, but it is certainly a legitimate way to refuse.  You might say, “I don’t have anything to hide (repeat Tactic 1), but after hearing about the issue, I’ve reviewed the Facebook use policy and sharing passwords is a violation.  I’m sure you understand and want to hire people who keep to the agreements they make.”

Tactic 4: You can trust me

This one has to be done with finesse, but it goes a bit like this, “My profile contains posts by others that they may expect to be private or at least limited to a certain group.  It would be unfair of me to share that information.   In my past roles, I’ve had access to confidential information like credit card numbers, employee salaries, pending layoffs, insider information.  I care a great deal about the trust that is given when this kind of information is shared and assure you I can be trusted with your confidence.”

Tactic 5: Last Resort – I can’t for your own good

There are laws that govern which questions prospective employers can ask in an interview.  They are generally prohibited from asking questions about race, country of origin, marital status, sexual orientation or even if you have children.  You can use this (tactfully) as a way to refuse to share your social profile.  “I’d love to show you, but I’m afraid my profile reveals information about my marital status, political leanings and country of origin.    I know you won’t ask questions about those things and I don’t want to put you in an uncomfortable situation.  Now let me assure you (repeat Tactic 1).”

The Exception

If you are applying for a job that would put in the position to contribute to or manager the companies’ social networks, the question about your Facebook profile is more legitimate.  While you should never give out your password, you might want to volunteer to log in and give the interviewer a tour of your profile if you have designed it to be an example of your social media work.  If not, be prepared to share other examples, such as your current or last company’ Facebook or Twitter profile.  If nothing like that is available, explain your approach to social profiles and identify some best practices and mistakes to avoid.

Enough about me, tell me about yourself

It is a good idea after using any of these tactics to immediately inquire more about the company’s social media strategy.  Do they use social media for lead generation, customer engagement, client support?  This is a great opportunity to show that you’ve reviewed the company’s online brand and ask relevant questions.

The bottom line

You should never be pressured into giving up passwords or other private information.  If none of these tactics work you need to ask yourself if this is a company that you want to work for after all.