When In Doubt...Just be Yourself!!!

In this day and age where every little look means something, and every little phrase or #tweet means something else, where do we draw the line? At work, we are expected to achieve certain goals and carry a certain aura around us, In our personal life we spend an equal amount of time (or more) trying to distance ourselves from our work persona to lead a relatively happy home life. My question is this….What would happen if we just chose to put forth one (1) image and let the chips fall where they may?

Would it really be that bad to have some of the home-life drift into business? This may allow you to see obstacles in a new light, thereby allowing you to come to an answer in less time and with better-than-expected results. How bad would it really be if a little of the home-body or family-(wo)man to drift into the work arena and possibly keep the peace in a tense situation, or again set an alternative view to a pressing problem.

It doesn’t matter what you do, at some point that line has either become or will soon become blurred, your “secret” identity will become public and you will be outed as the super person you always knew you were. Why keep the good traits secret, or only bring them out on special occasions? You don’t (traditionally) keep secrets at home or with your inner-circle; so why not just take the bull by the horns and expand that horizon and allow everyone to see all facets of you.

Someone said to me recently, “Think of your life as a triangle, with you as the base and home and work at the sides. Do you not think that at some point home will blur into work and work into home?” If you think about it, it is rather inevitable and you will have to confront the obvious….No matter how hard you try, you are only one person and you can only please so many people in one day, why not start with yourself? Best laid plans occasionally do come to fruition and bear the mighty fruit that comes with success as surely as you can shoot yourself in the foot as you attempt to sell a new client on your product, thus losing the account. If we present one persona, one visible identity, then there would only be one person disappointed with the results… You!

Please yourself and by default you can have both a happy home life and a successful career.

Comment by Sylvia Dahlby on May 7, 2011 at 6:06pm: Maybe I am missing the point? YES I have a very happy home life, and successful career. However, let's say I enjoy belly dancing. That's not necessarily something I need to share with my clients (or new prospects!) - least of all the scantily clad pictures posted on my facebook page. That doesn't mean I'm ashamed of my belly dancing hobby (or whatever)... just that it's one aspect of my life that's irrelevant to my business & work relationships, at least until after I get to know the customer or coworker (or my boss) well enough to share that interest. Excuse me for continuing to value my privacy and some separation of my work and leisure persona -- and believing that does it not make me phony or any less my mulit-faceted self.

Comment by Daniel J Smith on May 7, 2011 at 7:29pm: Home life is relevant to many business or work situations because a lot of the time people cannot differentiate between the two. Having less focus due to unforeseen home worries (new parents, new home, heck: new anything; or for that matter anything which would put you "off your game" (in the form of mental stress) means you have brought something to the workplace which for a time should be unnecessary. Flip-side: taking work or staffing issues home or fiscal stress from the office means you are bringing home something not needed during off-hours. I guess the point I am trying to make is that everyone is guilty to a degree of not having complete focus at a given point in time, thus creating the proverbial mole-hill from an ant-hill. We should be comfortable enough in our skin that we can function to the top of our game when needed (especially those paid well to do so) and yet not worry about skeletons in the closet. Peace of mind comes when the home/work/life dynamic is in sync and all facades are equal (you don't put on an image for a special occasion). After many years in the retail/sales sector I can say with all honesty that the overnight sensations don't last because of what they wear or the car they drive; they last because they worked hard, paid attention to someone who was currently where they needed to be, and soaked up all the knowledge they could about it; and left the home life at home. It is hard to separate the two, but necessary for sanity sake if you cannot be just one person. I hope this makes some sense; I have a feeling I lost my point somewhere near the beginning. Daniel

Comment by Sylvia Dahlby on May 7, 2011 at 9:00pm: OK thanks - guess you really mean to thine own self be true, which is timeless wisdom.

Comment by Daniel J Smith on May 8, 2011 at 11:16am: I guess I do; because at the end of the day; for all the friends and relations, you really only have yourself to make happy

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