DAWG DAYS OF SUMMER AND THE DAY AFTER A PLACEMENT

It's the dog days of summer, in Texas that is spelled Dawg and pronounced the same way so don't mess with me about that. The dog days of summer happen ,according to all the stuff i have ever dug up on the expression, in July and August. The Romans thought it was when the seas boil, people are mean and mad and dogs die. I think it just has to do with the heat, vacations, kids out of school driving everybody nuts. If my dogs are any indication they are a hell of a lot smarter than most of the humans on the planet during this part of the year. They aren't dead, they just have enough sense to stay in shade or in a cool place in the corner of the house and sleep until it cools off.

This summer in the Texas panhandle has been the worst i have ever encountered and i've been here for seven decades. 33 days of over 100o and no rain. None, ziltch, zero. I saw a group of people standing outside the other day having a fit over something. Thinking it must be some wonderful discovery or geez, even a five car pileup i ran over to see what everybody was so excited about. It was a weed. Yeppers just one little green weed, growing out there all by itself like it had water or something. None of us had seen anything green in so long that it was something worth gathering around and talking about until some little old lady ran over and pulled it up. The old bitch ruined the day for about 20 people. The next time we see a weed we are going to watch out for the little old ladies and head them off before they can kill the only thing green in the Texas panhandle. Biatches, they should stay inside when it's this hot.

One thing about the Dawg Days of Summer when it's like this, most folks have to stay inside and work because it's too hot to do anything else so production should go up but since the seas seem to be boiling everybody is a little or a lot nuts. I have had a good sumer with several good placements made in the industrial engineering vertical but the Dawg Days of Recruiting hit with a sledge hammer force this morning. To me the Dawg Days of Recruiting are the few days after i have closed a particularly difficult placement. That's not true. In my world the Dawg Days of Recrittering (that's not a typo) i often refer to what we do as "recrittering" I just take a critter from one place and put that critter someplace else so would else could it be but "recrittering". Don't go there with your insults about referring to people as critters. It's the Dawg Days of Summer and i could care less about your touchy feely crap. I'll get back to being Ms. "Love they one ya got" next week after i get over the Dawg Days of recruiting recrittering, whatever. I digress...

The two or three days after i make a placement or close two or three that have gone on since Noah launched the Ark, i am litterally not worth a flip. I'm tired, i'm drained, i hate everything with two legs and a mouth and email. All i want to do is curl up with my sleeping dogs or go talk to my horses because they don't talk back, they don't care about benefits, they don't take but a minute to make a decision about anything and none of them have failed a drug test or a background check. Let's hear it for the Equines!

I'm here, this is it, the Dawg Days of Recrittering and the Dawg Days of Summer crossed paths in the eternal equinox today. I will not interview anyone else this week, I will not answer any more questions, i will not listen to anymore nervous nellie hour long phone calls from candidates who have a phone interview a week from next Tuesday and are driving themselves crazy worrying about what they are going to say and how to say it and want to beat in my ear about it. I am not even going to try and get feedback from the interview that happened ten days ago before the internal recruiter went on vacation with instructions that if call the hiring manager she will forever banish me to seventh circle of hell. In sort ..until Monday i just don't give a damn.

What happens to you the day after you make a placement or two? Are you one of those lying, obnoxious recruiters who never hits the Dawg Days, always have things in the pipeline organized to fall between the hours of 8 and 5 Monday through Friday. If you are go to a conference or tweet about it or something equally as oatmeal. I want to hear from the people who run on five hour energy until they hit the wall when things close. What do you do when the fighting is over, the offer is made and accepted, the drug test is passed, the start date is set?

I am going shopping, then i am going to go bathe seven horses. It's hot they need a bath and it takes all day and requires no thought or conversation. :)

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Permalink Reply by Amy Ala Miller on August 3, 2011 at 5:21pm

Well, considering my dawg days come after the candidate has waited until the 11th hour to sign his damn offer letter, shows up to the wrong office on day one, then acts confused because WE didn't tell him he was going to travel between the two offices weekly (did you READ the offer letter), I usually go on a Shiraz bender for about three days and buy myself a pair of pretty shoes. It's called retail therapy dammit and without it I wouldn't have dragged myself to work today so that I could make sure he was dressed properly before delivering him to HR to fill out the stupid I-9 paperwork. :) Oh and I was finalizing this deal at 7 pm while arguing with my 8 year old about setting the table and consoling my 6 year old because no we were NOT having macaroni and cheese for dinner.

Are you telling me that somewhere in the world is a recruiter working 8 to 5? LIES! :)

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Permalink Reply by Sandra McCartt on August 3, 2011 at 5:43pm

Thanks Rayanne. Let's see who will fess up to Dawg Days. :)

@Amy, Shiraz is good so is Malibu Rum and coke with line...double tall. I call that the "Total Mall Experience" If i can't find shoes i can at least watch the mall moles and know that they probably have a resume coming my way soon.

My latest sent his signed offer letter first of the week but put a caveat on it that if he didn't receive the benefit info he had requested within 48 hours he reserved the right to withdraw his acceptance. Trust me he got the info muy pronto. My life passed before my eyes when i read the email attached to the acceptance. I am with your 6 year old about the mac and cheese. If you want a real taste treat throw some green chilis in it. They do that at the high end joints in Texas and call it gourmet.

P. S. Just as i pushed the publish button it started to rain. I think that is what it was. It dumped about 40 drops of hot water and quit. People have been sending death threats to the weatherman so i guess he considered that a save. Not so much Clyde, try harder. Thunder doesn't count.

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Permalink Reply by Amy Ala Miller on August 3, 2011 at 6:36pm

@Sandra you crack me up. :) I'm going to switch it up and have a rum and coke in your honor.

Here in Seattle we've decided not to complain any more about precipitation out of fear that half naked, sweaty, cranky people from the rest of the country might come up here and strangle us.

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Permalink Reply by Sandra McCartt on August 3, 2011 at 6:47pm

It has to be Malibu Rum and if you drink it with the mac/cheese with green chilis it makes you a Texas gourmet. That's pronounced goremit. If you hate the taste of booze like i do you can do Cream Soda and lime and it tastes exactly the same. Both will make you puke in about the same amount of time so you never have to worry about getting loaded.

About you and your rain. Let me put it this way it's so hot and dry here that i just heard a bunch of the cowboys and road construction crews just joined a gay parade because those guys have umbrellas. A little shade is creating a great deal of understanding.

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Permalink Reply by Amy Ala Miller on August 3, 2011 at 8:22pm

Sandra, had I been drinking said tasty beverage, your last comment would have made me spit it out all over my keyboard. You are hilarious :)

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Permalink Reply by Sandra McCartt on August 3, 2011 at 9:35pm

It's so hot that I heard a whispering sound in the backyard, turns out it was the trees talking to my dogs saying, "pick me, pick me ".

If you think this is brilliant rayanne wait until you have two or three of those run bombs. Mensa will be asking us for an autographs.