Another Tightrope

I just completed a Southwest Airline flight from John Wayne Airport in Orange County to Denver International Airport. I never check luggage and, given that I was traveling alone, I chose my seat very wisely. Fourth row, close enough to the front that I could disembark quickly and be on my way. Unfortunately a salesman of some kind sat behind me, a salesman with too much time on his hands and thinly veiled desperation in his voice. He latched onto his seat mate and proceeeded to "sell" himself for two and a half hours. His multi-level scheme even annoyed the flight attendant who briskly told him to stow his lap top - twice.

He began with a tale about his prissy life - a fairy tale wife, grown successful children, the youngest had just graduated from Stanford. Those of us lucky enough to be sitting within ear shot rolled our eyes wondered how long his neighbor would hold out. "I also have several rental properties up and down the Southern California coast, but let me tell you more about my latest venture..." blah, blah, blah

At what point do we, as responsible professionals, recognize when a line has been crossed, either by us or by a colleague/seat mate? One of my mentors used to say, "There's a fine line between being a helpful resource and a pest." It is too bad that not everyone knows where that line is. Or whether or not it has actually been crossed.

When presenting ideas or candidates, opportunities or products, it will serve you best to be in touch with your audience. Read expressions, body language and be in tune with the vibes you are giving off and those that you are receiving. Check your radar; tune in and listen. Don't be so caught up in what you want to say next that you fail to hear what is being said right now, right in front of you.

An elderly woman from our flight stopped me in the ladies room at the sinks. "That guy behind you didn't shut up for the whole flight... I was ready to, I was gonna... Oh, I'm just glad it's over." And she shuffled off. Do you want to be thought of as pushy? Do you want to come off as a pushover? That's the line on which to balance. Stretch your arms out wide. Open your eyes & flex those ears. The last thing you want is for your listener to be "glad it's over."

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Permalink Reply by Trevor Smith on September 22, 2009 at 4:24pm

Rayanne,
Great post! I think we've all seen this salesperson...and at times even been this salesperson. There is a great book by Frank Rumbauskas Jr. called "Never Cold Call Again" that deals with many of these same premises. I hope that I'm never "that guy" again!

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Permalink Reply by Charles Van Heerden on September 22, 2009 at 6:29pm

Rayanne, happens more often than not, largely because of poor sales training. Many sales people tend to oversell.

Network marketing has a lot to answer for. If I have one more person asking what are my dreams, I will have to reply not to run into any more network marketers for the rest of my life.

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Permalink Reply by Peter Ceccarelli on September 22, 2009 at 6:56pm

Unfortunately those of us who are "aware" of our audience don't pull antics like this, but those who do it all of the time are perpetually out of touch, have zero filters and couldn't care less as to how they come across because it's always about them. Ego's?????? HUGE ego's???? I wear my "mean" face on airplanes in order to avoid situations like these and it works most of the time.

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Permalink Reply by Dave Mendoza on September 22, 2009 at 8:26pm

Great post ... but rather adds to the irony of my day ... you WERE IN DENVER AIRPORT ... maybe as I was standing, sullen and rolling my eyes as I realized I had to cancel my flight leaving my passport at home!
Have fun for me dear friend

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Permalink Reply by Guy Farmer on September 26, 2009 at 2:48pm

Great story Rayanne. Another reason why its more important to listen than talk, especially when you're trying to connect with someone.

Take care,

Guy
Communication Expert