I met a young lady 20 years ago who became a very good friend of mine while working for a university hospital. For the sake of privacy, I’ll call her “Kathy.” We got along really well and just hit it off. She even attended my wedding. We worked together in the Human Resources department at that hospital for several years until she left and moved on to the next level in her career.

When she landed a new role as a Corporate Recruiter for another very reputable hospital, she called and told me about a Front Desk Administrative Assistant position that became available in the HR department. I excitedly thanked her for thinking about me and applied for the position. I was hired a short time later.

Kathy was considered a ‘big shot’ Corporate Recruiter at that particular hospital. All of the internal department hiring managers knew her very well. Her ability to recruit the right talent was phenomenal and made her well recognized. I was so proud to be her friend. She worked very hard and as a result excelled at everything she did. I was impressed and quite frankly was inspired by her.

After some time working together, I noticed Kathy would approach my desk every now and again and ask me to do some work for her. At first I wasn’t bothered by it. As a matter of fact, I was happy to help. I actually thought I was doing her a favor by ‘helping’ out, as any good friend would, even if I was swamped with my own workload.

The “every now and again” visits from Kathy and requests to help out began to increase as time went on. So much so that every time I saw her approaching, I instantly tensed up anticipating the extra workload. With her frequent visits, I became increasingly agitated and began going to her office to vent and argue and accusing her of how bossy she had become.

The big day finally came when I saw Kathy approaching. This time she had a very serious look on her face. She looked me straight in the eyes and shared with me how management wanted her to become my supervisor. It took me a minute or two to allow that comment to register. The next thought that flooded my mind was, “This can’t be happening. Wait. What?! You mean to tell me that my FRIEND is now my BOSS??”

After hearing the news, I had now found myself in a predicament I really had no idea how to transition out of. How would I now shift from a friend to a subordinate? This was a difficult task in my eyes and I wasn’t sure I could pull it off. This was really a challenging time for the both of us.

Not so long after the announcement and our continued disagreements, she left that company to move on to the next level in her career.

Although this experience happened 2 decades ago, Kathy and I are still friends to this very day but she never did refer me to any of the companies she’s worked for ever since.

“Boss” or “Friend,” this one fact remains; my attitude and actions were wrong. If it were not for Kathy I would’ve never been referred for that position. I would’ve never known about it. Plain and simple. I owed her not only my personal gratitude but the respect she deserved for that reason alone. Unfortunately, I just couldn’t see it at the time.

What is my personal discovery during this time period in my career journey?

Note to self: “Never bite the hand that feeds you”