Sometimes things don’t go the way you expected them to. The time, effort and personal investment we put into something that simply ended in nothing more than a simple “that’s it” in the story of life can be an emotional toll. The high you ride when things are great and moving along in the right direction often opens its way to a melancholy state of contentment where you are sure they are moving still – but not sure if its the direction you want to be headed until the anti-climatic end to things that you held so close for so long is often more of a let down the then event its self.
I remember the same type of emotion when I was recruiting full time. The emotional high you get off of things clicking together just right is amazing. When a candidate you know is a perfect gets an offer and you know it changes their life. When you were able to fill a position that had been sitting open for months because you thought of a different way to do it. Then, the meh way you feel when you are scoring a few wins, but not any slam dunks then the downturn you get when things start going wrong. The offer you sent out was declined. The sure thing candidate blew it with the hire manager. The person that sounded so great on the phone was a dud in real life. You start second guessing what you do, how you missed the signs and your role in the events that played out.
Its at that point you need to take your Big Girl Pill and suck it up. You have to realize the life (and business lessons) that you are learning or be doomed to repeat them again.
What you learn via a Big Girl Pill:
- People make mistakes. If you don’t – then you are making the mistake to assume you don’t make mistakes. Don’t dwell on your mistakes and don’t hold mistakes over other peoples heads.
- Learn from everything. Whether its you or someone else that you watch crash and burn – understand what happened and how you can do things differently.
- Get over yourself. You can NOT control other people’s actions. You can only control your own actions and how you respond to other people’s behavior. Don’t dwell on things you can’t change. Don’t wish people would change.
- Be a friend. Even when someone doesn’t deserve it. Being compassionate and understanding gives you more than it gives anyone else. So this is really a bit of a selfish one, but being a bit@h really doesn’t do any good.
- Grow up. Not everything you do is going to be great. You will fail. A lot. You will suck. A lot. Don’t be a baby and blame other people – be accountable when you F up.
- You are awesome. No matter what goes wrong, if you tried your best then that is all you (or anyone else) can ask of you. Don’t doubt and second guess yourself. Revert back to #2 as needed. (Let the Gen Y color’s fly)
A big girl pill isn’t always the easiest thing to swallow. It requires you to evaluate your self and your role in your life. It requires you to make adjustments and learn. It requires you to have confidence, modesty, empathy and humility all at once. It requires you to be able to move on. It may not be the easiest thing to swallow, but it will allow you to grow and develop faster than anything else professionally ever could