Forget that pathetic packet of coffee over in the break room and try some of my Recruiting Powder Protein. Just pour some of this into your water bottle every morning. Don’t be alarmed if some powder floats up enveloping you in a cloud of recruiting goodness. Take it in. Breath it out. Ahhhh.
As you take a swig, seven minerals blast through your bloodstream. Bam! You just got 15% of your recommended daily intake of Fistful of Talent!
Bam, 14% of your Boolean Black Belt
! And, a whopping quarter of your Recruiting Animal
, Bill Boorman
, and Punk Rock HR
Take a deep breath and flex your bicep muscles. Go ahead never mind those puny co-workers behind you. You know why? You just guzzled 18 times the amount of recruiting blogs the experts recommend.
You can feel the power. You have left all the other scrawny recruiters behind. You are now a power pumped super recruiter. Roam about the halls flexing those giant recruiting muscles.
If someone hands you a TPS reports, you’ll zap him with your laser beam eyes.
Someone needs you attend a career fair, you’ll freeze them with your icy breath.
Try reaching out to your hiring managers just using your telepathic powers. Did you hear that? You totally got all the feedback from that elusive hiring manager.
You are now a Super Recruiter. Good Morning!