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Blog Post: Re-Inventing My Best Recruiting Self in Tahoe Again: 14 Years after finding my Niche: I couldn't help but be at ease -…; Added by Mike Rasmussen at 11:51pm on July 12, 2022

Topic: STICKY STUFF -"I am not a bully".: of her previous jobs have been and just full of wonderful new ideas about what we all need to do. Ugh! We have a great department, all different ages, colors, and experiences but we enjoy our group and our jobs and work well together. Wonder Woman has been so irritating with all of her wonderfulness that some people are avoiding her.Others are making some sarcastic, funny comments to try and defuse the situation and others are just rolling their eyes. Wonder Woman became quickly aware that she was not being well received by her co-workers, so what does she do? She goes to our direct supervisor and says she is being bullied and no wonder it's hard to find people to work in this area. She is an attractive person and has a good background why does she act like this and why play the bully card when she was the one who came in like we were all idiots.So now the situation is that we have had the "bully lecture". Nobody got bullied and I think it was a cheap shot to play the bully card when she caused the reaction by coming in like God's answer to the advertising world.Half the group is pissed and probably will never like her. Two or three people think she is just unstable. Overall she has added a downer to the whole department since now she is not being so overbearing but still has all the answers and if anyone takes issue with her ideas she says they just didn't understand what she meant.It's really sticky in here and our department is walking on eggshells around Wonder Woman. Any suggestions?Signed, "Not a Bully and mad to be called one' Amy Ala - Internal Recruiter Says:Dear Not a Bully,Work is hard enough, isn’t it? I mean if they didn’t pay us, no one would bother to show up. So here you are, enjoying your life for the most part, you’ve got a decent job with good people around you, and here comes Wonder Woman throwing a monkey wrench in the whole darn thing.For what it’s worth (admittedly, probably not much) WW is probably more intimidated by you and the group than you might think. Showing up for work the first day is a lot like your first day in a new school, worse if it’s the middle of the semester. Even worse if it’s high school… but I digress. The point is it’s downright nerve wracking. Here you and your work pals are, steaming along, productive, no doubt well-liked by your boss, and WW is trying to figure out how to fit in. Clearly not very self-aware, she verbally vomits all over the team making a mess everywhere. The optimist in me says that WW probably just wants to be liked and acknowledged for what she thinks she has to offer. The cynic in me agrees that she’s most likely off her meds.If not for the “bully talk” this whole thing would probably have burned itself out quickly. But no… now things are escalated. Now you’re been put “on notice”, so to speak, by someone that should have had your back. I HATE that. What to do?1. Ignore Wonder Woman. I know, this will be difficult, but potentially the safest route to take. Smile and nod, whenever she drops some pearls of wisdom on you say thanks and keep doing your own thing. Above all, DON’T ENGAGE. If you are absolutely forced to work together, make sure you have witnesses.2. Have a serious heart to heart with The Boss. Let him/her know in no uncertain terms that you appreciate he/she wants to support the newbie but that doesn’t mean they’re allowed to throw proven, solid performers under the bus. Highly recommend that Boss tells WW to dial it down a few notches.3. Have a serious heart to heart with Wonder Woman. Personally I hate this idea the most and don’t see myself ever being capable of this. I tend to take route #1 because I still listen to my mother who said if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all.In a perfect world WW will eventually (hopefully quickly) wear herself out. It seems the bigger issue for you, dear reader, is that you are not feeling the love from your Boss. Therein lies the difficulty….Sandra McCartt - Third Party Recruiter Says: NO, YOU ARE NOT A BULLY BUT CHECK THIS OUT, YOU HAVE BEEN BULLIED. In the most passive aggressive way known to man. Oh boy, ain’t she a little treasure. I am not a shrink but I am a pretty good armchair psychologist so here’s my diagnosis. I think what you have in your nest is a little bird called a Narcissistic Personality Disorder. These folks are normally pretty smart, attractive people and can be very charming but..and this is the kicker…they will die without attention. It’s all about them. They hardly ever take time to introduce themselves and get to know their co workers before they start telling everyone how great they are. The problem is the Wonder Woman exterior and outgoing “I know it all” attitude is a big cover up for a personality that is like an emotional vampire. If they can’t get attention by exploding into the group as a big star or the reception is negative they will get attention by going into a Sarah Bernhardt routine and playing the “Bully Card” or turning on the “Waterfall”. Believe it or not it comes from a very weak ego and lack of self esteem. I know, at this point you feel like if they had anymore esteem for themselves the windows would blow out. They set people up to react and if the reaction is not what they want it to be ..well you’ve seen it. Wonder Woman will never take responsibility for her own actions and it will never occur to her that the reaction of her co-workers was caused by her entrance as the queen. Unfortunately these personalities are not treatable nor can they be reasoned with. The only thing that works with them is adoration and they are not very adorable. But that doesn’t answer your question. Just perhaps offers some insight into why she would play the “Bully Card”. Oh , and she will do it again or throw some other kind of fit that will make other people angry or be falsely accused of some sort of abuse of this little darling. Most of them are pretty smart and tricky so the best thing I can tell you is don’t get caught up in the narcissistic dance.You have to work with her at this point so eggshells may be the best course of action. Be polite and professional and wait for the mills of God to grind as they always do with an NPD. If an NPD doesn’t get a lot of attention or people disagree with their ideas they normally don’t last long in any group. I think your supervisor will come to the party pretty quickly and realize that things were good in there before Wonder Woman exploded on the scene. They can be pretty conniving so my advice is keep your distance and keep in mind that if you poke a rattlesnake it will strike or it will slither and wiggle. It’s a snake. You are all in a bit of a pickle because when an NPD is ignored it always figures out a way to get attention. But my advice on this one is to steer clear as long as you can stand it. When she puts the full court press on you in some way just smile and ask for a meeting with you , Wonder Woman and your boss. Discuss just that instance and at least let your boss know that you are making an effort to get along in an impossible situation, before WW has a chance to play any of the black cards in the black deck of the narcissist. I’m sorry, but I think your department is going to be not so pleasant until WW decides that you are all a bunch of Barbarians who can’t appreciate her and moves on. Just don’t let her suck you into a conflagration and make you the bad guy. They can do that and they will and you will be up all night worrying about it because sane people angry/frustrated trying to figure out personality disorders because it doesn’t make good sense. And it doesn’t , that’s why they call it a personality disorder. I feel for you. I have seen a couple of these in action. I worked for a TV station for several years and most of the “on the air” types were textbook cases as many of the attention addicts end up in broadcasting, acting and politics. The other 95% end up in offices. yuck! If it gets so bad that it makes you miserable, you can take her on head on and let her have it. But ,be ready to go find another job when you do. Your whole department can go to your boss or baring that there is always HR. That's called punting the NPD to the people who hired it.…; Added by Sandra McCartt at 3:00pm on October 7, 2011

Blog Post: The Missing Piece to ATS Prescreening Questions: It’s no surprise that the number of resumes stockpiling for HR and hiring managers has increased in the past year. Thus, it’s important now more than ever to have an applicant tracking system (ATS)…; Added by Jake Stupak at 2:46pm on September 11, 2009

Blog Post: Exit Interview: Why Top Talent is “REALLY” Leaving Your Company: We network with top talent on a daily basis, so we always come across top producers that are willing to throw in the…; Added by Bridget Baggett, MBA, MHA at 1:24pm on April 11, 2013

Blog Post: How to Recruit - The least you should do....: Employing people was never easy. Perversely, it's more difficult now because there are more candidates than jobs, but there are…; Added by Martin Ellis at 9:42am on May 20, 2013

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Blog Post: Tips for Actually Getting the Job!

Getting the Job

The job seeking process can be both challenging and fulfilling. If you approach the job search as a “full-time job” you will find a sense of purpose and improved focus on…

Added by Jamie Amaral at 2:33pm on June 12, 2012

Blog Post: How to Make a Great Impression With Your Candidates

There are literally thousands…

Added by Paul Slezak at 3:42am on September 8, 2014

Blog Post: Top 3 Technologies Used at a Recruitment Fair You Should Know About: Recruitment fairs have always been one of the most effective solutions for job seekers and recruiters throughout the years. When our world is getting more digital, recruitment fair planners must…; Added by Ngan Pham at 9:30pm on October 5, 2021

Blog Post: FROZEN Out of Talent? Let It Go!: The following is the transcript from a webcast I led on 8/26/14 for SHRM (Society of Human Resource Management). This should not be copied, distributed, or used without my permission. Thank…; Added by Doug Douglas at 10:44am on August 28, 2014